what doesn't kill you...

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...we've all heard and/or said this saying dozens of times. it's usually heard in the midst of trials and adversity. it's meant to make you feel better...like if you survive this struggle that you're dealing with, you'll make it to the other side stronger. i actually believe this to be true...if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger. you will learn from the experience, you will grow, mature and be a more developed person. plus, it generally makes for a pretty good story.

do you remember the snow suit you had as a kid? you know...the one that covered you completely and made you feel like the kid from "a christmas story?" i remember every year trying mine on to see if it still fit. the snow suit was essential to having fun during the winter months. as an adult...i don't keep a snow suit in storage. but, a couple of weeks ago i found myself wishing i did.

the experience that didn't kill me and the moment that had me wishing for a snow suit were one in the same...learning how to snow ski. while my friends assured me that i wouldn't be going fast enough to get injured let alone die, there was still fear. fear of the ski lift, the fear of looking stupid, the fear of trying and failing, fear of the unknown. fear...lots and lots of fear.

i'm the type of person who generally runs from the fear. i weigh all the possible outcomes and usually end up taking the path with the fewest risks. unfortunately, i think this cautious behavior can sometimes be irrational and keeps me from some really truly great experiences. so, with borrowed clothes, gloves, goggles, etc (and partly due to my friend who said, "Beckie's going to find a way to back out")...I "learned" how to ski. well, i fell down a lot anyway.

what i learned from this exhausting and humbling experience is...1.) The people with you can make it or break it. i was lucky to have some great friends who were extremely patient with me. one of my favorite memories from the day is just sitting with them on the side of a snowy mountain. 2.) allowing the fear to hold me back will only end in regret. if i had backed out, if i hadn't done it, i would have always wished i had.

shortly after returning from my trip i heard the song "what doesn't kill you" by Kelly Clarkson. i love these lyrics..."what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller. what doesn't kill you makes a fighter, footsteps even lighter." i do stand a little taller (that is, after my sore muscles allowed me to) and i feel like my steps are a little lighter. because, i'm extremely proud of myself for trying something new and for not letting the fear rob me of a fantastic experience.