christmas is coming...

i haven't posted in a while.  i'm not really sure why that is exactly...but i have missed it.  so, i'm looking to get back into the swing of things.  and, i'm starting with my first ever swap.  i have known for sometime that there is a whole world of networked bloggers out there and i have wanted to get involved.  but, for whatever reason (fear of the unknown i'm guessing) i haven't done it.  this morning i did it...just jumped in.  i will let you know how it goes.

if you're interested in joining, here is the link...

'cause i gotta have faith...

i grew up in a family where we went to church.  anytime the doors were open...we were there.  in sunday school i learned to read my bible, memorize verses, and race my friends to see who could find those verses in our bibles the fastest.  because of this, i think i have a pretty good understanding of the bible.  i don't know everything, by any means, but i have a solid foundation.  so, sometimes it surprises me when i read something and it's as if i'm reading it for the first time.  even though, it could be the hundredth time i've read it.

when we launched the kickstarter program for our clothing line and pledges started coming in...i was humbled.  i remember saying to Leveryll that it made me realize just how small my faith is.  this brought to mind the verse in the bible about having faith the size of a mustard seed.  so, i found it and read it.  it was as if i was reading it...FOR THE FIRST TIME.

in this story the disciples are trying to heal a boy, but aren't able to do it.  they come to Jesus, in private, and ask why.  this is what he says...

he replied, because you have so little faith.  truly i tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, move from here to there, and it will move.  nothing will be impossible for you.  matthew 17:20

if Jesus says that having faith as small as a mustard seed would make anything possible...does this mean that the disciples faith was smaller than that?  does this mean that MY faith is smaller than that?  smaller than a mustard seed?

what if i did have faith the size of a mustard seed and lived in such a way that i believed that nothing was impossible?  what if....

my friend Hilary told me that a thousand dollars is easy for God.  she told me that he owns the cattle on a thousand hills and can sell one for me.  a thousand dollars is what we're trying to raise to give our clothing line a solid foundation so that we can move on to the big dreams we have for it.  a thousand dollars.

so, i'm asking God to expand my faith.  to help me to live in such a way that i know that nothing is impossible, because anything is possible through Him.  sometimes having that faith means being obedient and asking for help.  asking for help is not one of my strengths and sometimes i really believe that this is why God makes me ask.

dear friends, family and friends of Zeteo that i've never even met.  i'm asking that you would prayerfully consider partnering with us on this journey of faith.  please pray for us and please pray about supporting us financially.  i know that Hilary is right...a thousand dollars is easy for God.  i'm trusting that he can do it!

risk it to get the biscuit...

i recently celebrated my birthday.  as i was talking with a friend, reflecting over the last year of my life, she said this to me..."Beckie, if i had to sum up your last year, i would say that it was all about taking risks."  she went on to list several examples and i could see that she was right!

this was probably the most encouraging thing anyone could have said to me on that day.  how do i measure a year in the life?  according to my friend...one risk at a time!  it was amazing to have a lesson that i have been learning affirmed through someone who lives life along side of me.  i'm pretty sure i responded with "well, you've got to risk it to get the biscuit," which is a cheesy line from a ridiculous movie.  but, i believe that the sentiment is right on...to get what you don't have, you've got to do something you've never done.

so, maybe i have learned a lot about risk.  but the learning, evolving and growing are never finished.  there are always more opportunities and lessons to be learned.  this past week i was provided with one of those opportunities as our clothing line set out on another journey of faith.  on thursday we launched a kickstarter campaign.  kickstarter is a website that helps people raise funds for creative projects.  our goal with this project is to be able to pay for many of the costs of starting a small business such as promotional materials, a website, advertising, a business license, etc.  we also hope to create an inventory of shirts that will allow us to fill orders quickly and to get the screens made to print those shirts.  this is something that we're not able to do by ourselves and we are asking our friends and family to partner with us through prayer and financial support.

this is a scary thing for me.  i have never been very good at asking for help (that in itself is a lesson i'm learning).  but, ultimately, i believe that this project is a good thing and i am trusting that God is capable.  the most amazing part is seeing how God is using people to prove just that.  in the last five days i have been encouraged, amazed and humbled by the love and support people are showing Zeteo!  this could possibly be the longest 30 days of my life as i doubt, stress and worry that we won't reach our goal.  but, it could also possibly be the most rewarding as i learn, stretch and grow in faith.

so...check out our kickstarter page!  please be praying for our journey and if you feel led...pledge...you could get a pretty cool shirt out of the deal!

walking by faith...

how often do we limit ourselves out of a fear of the messy and unpredictable?

umm...only all the time.

over the past several years i've been learning about risk.  it's been pretty clearly established that i don't take risks easily.  i like to stay in the safety of the familiar and the comfortable.

but, what i'm learning is that a life without risk and taking chances is a life without adventure.  and, possibly even a life filled with regrets.  is that really a life i want to live?  not even a little bit.  so, slowly but surely i'm learning to stretch myself out of my comfort zone and do things that scare me just a little bit.

recently i've had the opportunity to put this into practice.  for a long time i've had a dream to design cool t-shirts that people would want to wear.  well, with the help of a good friend (who doesn't easily get scared by the unknown), that dream is in the process of becoming a reality.  it's happened very fast, which is scary.  i can't even tell you the steps that took place to get us to where we are today.  all i know is that those steps happened and we're here, which is amazing!

one night, while i was working on the shirts, the song "walk by faith" by jeremy camp came on my pandora station.  the chorus says, "i will walk by faith, even when i cannot see."  sometimes i wish that my life were like a movie where i get the script ahead of time.  if only i could see how this would end...see the outcome.  unfortunately, that's impossible and life is unpredictable.  this moment with jeremy camp inspired this shirt...(which happens to be my favorite and i can't wait to see it printed)

can i see God's hand in this...yes, very clearly.  taking this risk, putting myself out there is scary, but it also takes a step of faith, trusting that God's plan is perfect.  would i love to see the final outcome before i take that step, of course.  but, that's not what faith is about.  so, i choose to walk BY FAITH, even when i cannot see!

visit our facebook page...like it...and, follow along with us on this journey of faith.

here we go again...

in the summer of 2002 i spent two months teaching conversational english in kazakhstan.  if you have ever lived in another country for any length of time, then you know that it is not easy.  things that you take for granted here in the states become difficult, sometimes impossible.  you have to learn to manage your expectations, prepare for the unexpected and be flexible.

a couple of years before that trip, the movie "the emperor's new groove" came out and quickly became one of my favorites.  there is a scene in the movie where pacha and kuzco end up tied to a tree branch, careening down a river toward a waterfall.  they have this conversation...

pacha: uh-oh
kuzco: don't tell me.  we're about to go over a huge waterfall
pacha: yep
kuzco: sharp rocks at the bottom?
pacha: most likely
kuzco: bring it on

during our time in Kazakhstan we would face some new unknown every day.  we wouldn't know what to expect, how the day would go, if the bus we needed would show up on time, if at all.  this conversation between pacha and kuzco became a conversation our team would have on a daily basis.  once we knew where we were going or what we were supposed to be doing, someone would ask the question..."sharp rocks at the bottom?"  (meaning, is it going to be difficult, challenging and frustrating).  then, someone else would answer with, "most likely."  and, we would respond like kuzco..."bring it on."

i think we all like to think of ourselves as flexible, able to roll with the punches.  i know that i do.  but, if i'm really honest with myself...i hate change.  and, i hate the unknown.  i'm a planner by nature.  i think about things and through things for a long time before taking action.  flexibility is difficult for a planner.  but, what i've learned over the years is that you can plan to be flexible.  pacha and kuzco did it.  my team in kazakhstan did it.  it is possible to head towards a situation knowing that it's most likely not going to turn out anything like you would expect.  knowing that you're going to have to adjust.

it's not easy, and i definitely don't have it mastered, but i'm working on it.  because, i don't want to live life in such a comfortable place that my response to the sharp rocks is...well, then i'm gonna do my best to paddle upstream because that doesn't sound at all like something i want to be a part of.  i want to look at the sharp rocks ahead and say...BRING.  IT.  ON.

while i don't share your enthusiasm...

most of the things that come out of my mouth originated in a movie.  i don't know why this is.  i don't know why i remember these useless things.  but, for some reason, most of what i see, do, and/or hear reminds me of a line from a movie (or an episode of friends, but we'll save that for another post).

the most recent of these moments came from the movie armageddon.  you know, the one where ben affleck and bruce willis go into outer space.  the scene that came to mind takes place when the guys first learn about the asteroid and what NASA is asking them to do.  owen wilson's character, oscar, is excited, saying that this is history and of course he is in.  steve buscemi's character, rockhound, responds with this...

"while I don't share his enthusiasm, you know me.  beam me up, scotty!"

at the beginning of this year, after months and months of talking about it, my friends and i started a bible study.  the purpose of this group is to not only study the bible together, but to live life...together.  even before the group started, we had talked about wanting to serve people.  we want to find ways to reach out and help those around us.  we want to meet needs, love people, and use our lives to point towards Jesus. 

this past monday we sat and talked about all of the things we want to do and then we put a plan in place to get started.  next week will be our first service project.  the entire room responded with excitement.  my response was much like rockhound's...while i don't share your enthusiasm.

honestly, some of the things we have planned scare me to death.  it's not scary stuff, it's just outside of my comfort zone and that is scary.  my friend tim wisely said something to the affect of, "if it scares you then i think that means you need to do it."  and...i agree...100%.  i know that the things that stretch me are also the things that bring the most growth.  i also know that the projects we have planned are good and right.  that doesn't necessarily make them less scary.

but, like rockhound i'm saying, "beam me up!"  i'm.  all.  in.

there is another scene in the movie when they're getting ready to take off into space and oscar is rambling incessantly.  i can completely relate to oscar in this moment...

"great, i got that excited/scared feeling.  like 98% excited, 2% scared.  or maybe it's more - it could be two - it could be 98% scared, 2% excited."

"Jumping off the cliff is how you feel God's hand underneath you." - Anonymous

my house is a very, very, very fine house...

in november, of 2012, i bought my very first house!  it was the most stressful, emotional, grownup thing i've ever done.  it's something that i had always dreamed of doing.  i started the process several times, only to get overwhelmed and freak out a little bit.  and, if i'm being honest, i thought that no one in their right mind would give me money.  well....someone did.  and, as it turns out, i'm considered to be the "perfect lender."  who knew?

i've been living in the house for about six weeks and i've already made one panicked phone call to my father, fixed a toilet that wasn't flushing right and own power tools.  i would say i'm officially a homeowner.  unpacking and getting settled has been a slow process, but it's getting there.  here are pictures of the rooms that are fit to be seen.  (disclaimer:  the majority of my furniture was free...don't judge)

The Front!  (This pic was taken before it was officially mine.  I say that because those potted plants were the previous owners as I have no green thumb and would surely have killed them by now)

Entry Hall

Kitchen

Dining Room

Living Room

Backyard

Downstairs Bath/Laundry

Guest Bedroom

Guest Bathroom

My Fabulous Closet!  (The only portion of my bedroom that is organized)

N.E.R.D.

recently, some friends were giving me a hard time about attending a conference for writers and authors.  they said that if i paid money to attend this conference, then i'm a nerd.  this kind of surprised me.  but, then i realized that i just don't care.  i think that most people are nerds about something.  well, i guess most people that are passionate about something, anyway.  so, if writing makes me a nerd...then i'm a nerd.  at my writers conference (yes, the one i paid money to attend) one of the authors said that "writing is a super power."  i liked this...a lot.  and, i'm guessing that my friends would say that this too made me a nerd.

last night my friend Stephanie and i went to a meeting called a "plot party."  the point of this party was to meet other people embarking on a book writing adventure through National Novel Writing Month.  NaNoWriMo is an event where you write a specific amount of words every day for a month in the hopes that at the end you would have something that resembles a book.  i fully admit that while i've always wanted to write a book...it was complete peer pressure that talked me into doing this.  a fact that became more evident when i reached the plot party and realized that there are people who are passionate and excited about this adventure.  the purpose in us all getting together is that maybe we would find encouragement for the journey.  i'm secretly hoping that their passion and excitement would rub off on me.

this party also included activities meant to give inspiration and encourage creativity.   my favorite of these were the "story cubes."  the story cubes are real easy...you roll 9 dice and make up a mini story including every picture on each of the dice in a certain amount of time.  I.  LOVED.  THIS!  here is my story...

the words: airplane, dragon, keyhole, driver's license, moon, shooting star, lightning, clock (set to 4), dice (on the #5)

yesterday i got on an airplane.  to get on this airplane i had to show no less than 5 people my driver's license.  literally, if you rolled a dice, it would turn up a 5.  my flight was supposed to leave at 3:46, which i thought was a weird time.  but, here i sit and the clock just struck 4.  this isn't all that surprising, because a plane leaving on time is as likely as a dragon fitting through a keyhole.  it's similar to seeing a shooting star on a cloudy night and being struck by lightning twice.  perhaps even as likely as a man actually walking on the moon.

not bad for less than 2 min.  i embrace my nerdiness!

take a risk...take a chance...make a change

the other day, over coffee, my friend stephanie told me i was brave.  she had to say it a few times before i started believing that maybe it was true.  i don’t feel brave.  on any given day i feel anxious, nervous…unsure.  even though i feel like this, i think stephanie might be right…maybe i am brave.  at least i’ve been trying to be.  my pastor once said that “to get what you want you have to do what you’ve never done.”  this is what i’m trying to do...things i’ve never done.   if i want my life to tell a different story, a better story, then i need to do something different.  so, i’ve been stretching myself, stepping out of my comfort zone, trying new things…things that scare me.  i’m not waiting for friends to go with me, i’m just doing it.  and, i guess maybe this does make me brave.

stephanie also reminded me that every good story involves risk.  if you want to know how i feel about risk, you can read about it here.  in short…i avoid it.  but, what i’ve learned recently is…any perceived risk is actually much less risky then i make it out to be.  the phrase “mountain out of a mole hill” comes to mind.  i blow things out of proportion until it becomes so scary that i talk myself out of it.  truthfully, it’s not that scary, if i really think about it.  i mean…we’re not talking about jumping out of an airplane and chute won’t open kind of risk.

    

i needed this reminder.  i needed to remember that i’m on a good path, headed down a good road, working towards being the best beckie i can be, working towards living a better story.

what doesn't kill you...

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...we've all heard and/or said this saying dozens of times. it's usually heard in the midst of trials and adversity. it's meant to make you feel better...like if you survive this struggle that you're dealing with, you'll make it to the other side stronger. i actually believe this to be true...if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger. you will learn from the experience, you will grow, mature and be a more developed person. plus, it generally makes for a pretty good story.

do you remember the snow suit you had as a kid? you know...the one that covered you completely and made you feel like the kid from "a christmas story?" i remember every year trying mine on to see if it still fit. the snow suit was essential to having fun during the winter months. as an adult...i don't keep a snow suit in storage. but, a couple of weeks ago i found myself wishing i did.

the experience that didn't kill me and the moment that had me wishing for a snow suit were one in the same...learning how to snow ski. while my friends assured me that i wouldn't be going fast enough to get injured let alone die, there was still fear. fear of the ski lift, the fear of looking stupid, the fear of trying and failing, fear of the unknown. fear...lots and lots of fear.

i'm the type of person who generally runs from the fear. i weigh all the possible outcomes and usually end up taking the path with the fewest risks. unfortunately, i think this cautious behavior can sometimes be irrational and keeps me from some really truly great experiences. so, with borrowed clothes, gloves, goggles, etc (and partly due to my friend who said, "Beckie's going to find a way to back out")...I "learned" how to ski. well, i fell down a lot anyway.

what i learned from this exhausting and humbling experience is...1.) The people with you can make it or break it. i was lucky to have some great friends who were extremely patient with me. one of my favorite memories from the day is just sitting with them on the side of a snowy mountain. 2.) allowing the fear to hold me back will only end in regret. if i had backed out, if i hadn't done it, i would have always wished i had.

shortly after returning from my trip i heard the song "what doesn't kill you" by Kelly Clarkson. i love these lyrics..."what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller. what doesn't kill you makes a fighter, footsteps even lighter." i do stand a little taller (that is, after my sore muscles allowed me to) and i feel like my steps are a little lighter. because, i'm extremely proud of myself for trying something new and for not letting the fear rob me of a fantastic experience.

dude, your perspective on life sucks...

yesterday was my birthday. i never wanted to become one of those people who despise their birthday, but somewhere along the way i became just that. i guess despise is a strong word. i don't really despise them. however, over the years somehow july 6th has become less about celebrating life. instead it's become the mark of another year passing with things left unaccomplished and undone. truthfully...

my perspective on life sucks.

the day before my birthday i was completely dreading it, trying to figure out how i could avoid it, somehow sleep through it. but, yesterday morning i opened a gift that had travelled thousands of miles from nepal, to get to me on my day. my cousin jessica had made me an amazing mixed cd (go here to see my feelings on mixed tapes). she put a particular song on there that might have seemed a random choice. but, she said that it should give me a "perspective about age and life." she was...completley. right.

seasons of love from the musical rent...
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure, measure a year?
in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in the life?

how about love?

how DO you measure a year in the life? i had been measuring my life all wrong. i had been focusing on the "woe is me's" and the "if only's." i had completely lost sight of the fact that i have a pretty good life. i have friends and family who love and care about me (my facebook wall is a good indicator). i have a good job. i've done some AMAZING things. and, most days, i'm really happy. so, with this new perspective in mind i went about my day. and, it turned out to be really really good! i felt loved and treasured. i felt cared for by the people who went out of their way to make it special by taking me to lunch, making me dinner, getting me a cake, and making me one fantastic birthday mix.

the moral of this story...
measure your life, measure you life in love

men are from mars...

you know how after you've read, or heard, or seen something impactful, then that's all you read, or hear, or see? recently, i've been reading the book "wild at heart: discovering the secret of a man's soul" by john eldridge. i know there are some who would argue that as a woman i shouldn't read this book...it's only for men. and, for a long time i believed this argument. but, i'm glad that i changed my mind. this book has not only been enlightening, but it has taught me a lot about myself, the men around me, and the world. while i've been reading, things have been popping up all over the place...reminders, applications, "ahaha" moments.

a couple of years ago i had the following conversation with my nephew...
nephew: i want an uncle
me: why do you want an uncle?
nephew: because i want someone around who understands me.

my nephew is one of few males in a pretty female saturated family. he has three aunts, none of them married. he is often the only male in a room full of women. i never really thought he noticed or that it bothered him. i never thought it was odd that i was the one he wrestled with and played video games with. i didn't really think it mattered. and then, the other day i read this...

"a boy learns who he is and what he's got from a man, or the company of men. he cannot learn it any other place. he cannot learn it from other boys, and he cannot learn it from the world of women."

i'm not saying that i'm concerned about my nephew's masculinity, he has some amazing men in his life...his father, my father, grandfather's. but, this was a lesson for me. i somehow thought that by filling the role of both the aunt and the uncle, i was meeting a need. but, as much as i would like to believe that i "understand" boys...it's impossible.

the other night i was watching one of my new favorite shows, traffic light, and this happened...



in a follow up scene, the wife becomes upset when the husband allows the little boy to be photographed in a cowboy costume with guns, she calls him a "baby ted nugent." this instigates an argument weighing whether or not guns are inherently bad. finally the husband brings up hunting and reminds the wife that she's okay with him hunting. the wife responds, "you haven't done that since we got together...i tamed you."

i honestly don't know if i would have given this episode a second thought if i hadn't been reading this book. but, with john eldridge's words in my head, all i could think was..."no, you're emasculating your husband and you're getting ready to do the same thing to your son."

"society at large can't make up its mind about men. having spent the last thirty years redefining masculinity into something more sensitive, safe, manageable and, well, feminine, it now berates men for not being men."

i was listening to ryan seacrest's radio show the other day and he asked..."do you think it's weird when a guy orders something that is typically ordered by women?" he then proceeded to tell what he had ordered, and i have no clue what it was. but, i think ryan is a perfect example of this point, because he is the epitome of "metrosexual." i would be surprised if i found out that he went hunting on the weekends with his buddies. he is an example of this redefined masculinity...sensitive, safe, manageable. and, we all secretly question his sexuality.

we are bi-polar. we want men to be strong, secure, safe, with an emphasis on safe. we don't want them to play with guns, sky dive, or anything too dangerous. we want to change them, to tame them. but, we still want them to be men, masculine. i don't think we can have it both ways.

cooler than me...addendum

last night i was sitting in my living room with some teenage girls when one of them asked what i did for a living. as usual my response..."i'm a graphic designer." then she said, "i could tell you must be an artist. well, assuming that you painted, drew or created all of this." (with a flourish of her arm that took in the whole room).

moral of this story...maybe the only person i'm fooling is me.

cooler than me...

i have a hard time thinking of myself as an artist. in fact, when asked what i do for a living i almost always use the terminology...graphic designer, instead of graphic artist. i don't know why this is. i think i have the idea that artists are much cooler than me. they live in a fantastic loft somewhere, wear paint splattered overalls and starve for the love of their art. they paint and sculpt and display their creations in a gallery somewhere for everyone to see. this is not me.

i remember when i was maybe 11 or 12 i decided that i wanted to be a painter. i'm not sure where this inspiration came from, but i was determined. so, i gathered my supplies...whatever paint and brushes i could find in the house, water, paper towels and a piece of cardboard (to stand in for the canvas that i didn't have). i think i even made some kind of easel. then i decided on my subject...a bowl of fruit seemed like the natural choice. i wish i still had that painting. i remember it not meeting my expectations, but i would like to know if it was as bad as i remember it being. after that, i never painted again...until a few years ago when i began taking classes.

that desire i had at 11 or 12, to paint, never left it just didn't get fed. i either didn't have an outlet for learning or a means, but most likely i didn't have the motivation. or maybe there was some kind of resistance telling me i couldn't do it, couldn't be an artist, who knows. that has changed. the classes i've taken have somehow inspired confidence. now, i have ideas in my head. i have a little knowledge. i have a desire to be an artist. but, would i be able to do it on my own, without the instructor leaning over my shoulder? this i didn't know, but just like all those years ago...i was determined. so, once again, i gathered my supplies. this time i was a little more prepared with the proper tools, including a canvas, and the subject was a little different...
my idea was to combine these two pictures that i took. i love sunsets and this tree (from my parent's neighbor's yard) never takes a bad photo.

i thought it would look pretty cool in watercolor. my mistake...i don't know anything about watercolor painting. needless to say, this attempt did not meet my expectations. but, i decided to try again, this time using a medium i know a little about...oils. and, i would consider this second attempt to be a success.
it's by no means perfect. it hangs on the wall in my living room and every time i look at it i find something i would have done differently. but, for my first attempt at painting on my own i have to say...not bad. and maybe, just maybe, i'm a little closer to being able to call myself an artist.

they say it's your birthday...

today, i want to celebrate this guy...this is my dad's senior picture and it has always held a special place in my heart. today is his 60th birthday. so, in honor of this day i want to share why i believe that my dad is the greatest man in the whole world. he is the perfect mix of manly and tough with just enough sensitivity and compassion. my dad can seriously do ANYTHING. he refers to himself as a "jack of all trades, master of none." but, my sisters and i like to call him the "renaissance man" (a person whose expertise spans a significant number of different subject areas). here are some examples of why he's the greatest and how he passed that expertise on to me over the years...

1. when i learned how to drive he taught me how to check the essential fluids in my car, change a tire, the windshield wipers and headlights. all skills that have been extremely useful. he also taught me how to change a spark plug, a skill that i haven't needed yet, but if the time ever comes i will be ready.

2. he taught me how to play the piano. he stuck little pieces of masking tape on the keys and lettered them so i knew what notes they were and then showed me how to read music.

3. when i was about 15 he told me that when a boy comes to pick me up for a date he WILL come to the door. if he sits in the driveway and honks he WON'T be taking me out that night. he not only told me how i should expect men to treat me, but set an example for me in the way he cares for the women in his life.

4. when i was learning to play the guitar i asked him how i get to the point where i can strum while changing chords. his answer..."you just do it." i found this extremely frustrating until about a week later when i miraculously was able to "just do it" and realized that he was absolutely correct. i shouldn't have doubted.

5. over the years he made me weed the garden, mow the lawn, pick fruit, chop wood and countless other chores. at the time i was pretty sure he was torturing me, but looking back i realize he was teaching me not to be afraid of hard work.

6. when i was growing up sometimes on the weekends he would go and rent a nintendo from the video store and we would play mario brothers and duck hunt. pretty sure this is why to this day I LOVE VIDEO GAMES.

7. he taught me not only how to say words like distributor cap, exhaust manifold and catalytic converter, but also taught me what they mean. a knowledge that comes in handy when i need to fool a mechanic into believing that i'm not a helpless girl and i actually do know what i'm talking about.

8. when i was really young i remember finding out that the embroidery picture hanging on the wall was done by him. pretty sure this is the day i learned that my dad can do ANYTHING.

9. a couple of years ago he moved all my earthly belongings about four times in the span of 9 months. after time number four he said, "i don't want to have to do this again for a long time." i think we made it two years, but when the time came he was there ready and willing to help.

10. the other day he told me how he bought a bible for his co-worker, wrote an inscription in it and then set it on a shelf at work waiting for the time to be right to give it to him. only to find out that the co-worker started reading the bible on his own, found the inscription and came to him. i'm pretty sure this is what Jesus would have done.

he's the reason i give whenever someone is surprised i have the ability to do something like...help re-roof a house, use power tools, efficiently pack a trunk and/or u-haul truck, or jump start a car. he's proud to have raised three independent and self-sufficient daughters. he is one of the most responsible and hardest working people i've ever met and would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it. there is nothing more important to him than family.dad, i know that today when people wish you a happy birthday and ask how your day is going you will say, "it's just another day." but, today we are celebrating you because you deserve it. you do so much for the people around you with no request for recognition. you are the epitome of servant hearted. thank you for always being there to help me, to give me advice, to just be a sounding board. i love you! happy 60th birthday!

look at this photograph...part deux

what happens when something you love affects the people around you? over christmas i was talking to my niece and nephew about the fact that i'm constantly taking their pictures. since they were born they have been two of my favorite subjects, so if it's going to affect anyone it's them. i have several albums of our little "photo shoots" where i will make them stand on this ladder, pose by this tree, sit on this hay bail. i don't know how many times they've heard me say, "wait, don't move, let me get my camera." so, i asked them....does it ever bother you? my fourteen year old niece just shrugged her shoulders and said, "it's just who you are."

one of the reasons i love pictures so much is that they tell a story and that story can be different for every person that looks at it...it's subjective. but, to the photographer it's something very different, because they know everything that went on in the creation of that photograph. there is a picture i took of my niece years ago that demonstrates this completely. she was about four, in the backyard picking flowers. i crouched down to take her picture, trying to be really quiet so i wouldn't disturb her, trying to be sneaky. without even looking at me she said..."i know you're taking a picture of me Beckie."i love this picture, with the flowers in her hand, the band aid on her knee, her little hand brushing her hair back. but, that one sentence from her makes it perfect.

my nephew's response to my question was pretty similar, just in boy lingo..."naw". but, one of my favorite pictures of my nephew was at a time when it did in fact bother him. he was around two or three and i think it was one of those times when he was doing something cute and i wanted to capture it. but, he was having none of it. i don't remember why, but he did not want me taking his picture. so, i did what any good aunt would do...i took it anyway. totally. worth. it.
the story behind this one is that he wore that little blue tank top for years. it quickly became a little half shirt on him, but he wore it anyway because it was his favorite....so cute.

if cassadie and jarod had answered my question differently, if it did bother them, then i don't know what i would do. but, i'm glad that they're ok with it, because when they're on board i get pictures like this...

look at this photograph...

i love pictures. there is something about a great picture that makes me enormously happy. when people ask the question...if your house were on fire, what would you grab while running out the door? my answer would be...my photo albums.

i took a photography class in school and this only perpetuated my love for a well taken picture. it is also where i fell in love with the dark room and development process. in fact, i resisted the digital era for a long time, i was loyal to film. until i realized that digital allows you to do all of your editing right there, in an instant. because, you can take hundreds of pictures, instead of 32.

over the years i have had the opportunity to work for two different professional photographer's. from the first i learned that Cannon is the best "point and shoot" camera around. from the second i learned that no picture should leave your hands without some kind of digital retouching. and, i adhere to both of these philosophies. i will only buy a camera if it's a cannon and i don't post, print or share a picture if it hasn't been touched by photoshop first.

a couple of weeks ago i stumbled upon some "actions" in photoshop that were shared here. i've been messing with some of my pictures and i absolutely love the outcome.

the original (taken in rhodes, greece)

with just a little boost of color.

simple black & white.


using the "colorized" action in photoshop.

it also works great with people. this is a picture of me and my friend Andrea.

the same picture using the "colorized" action.


but, this might be my favorite....

the original, taken in lindos greece, is a pretty spectacular picture on it's own.

but, with the "colorized" action, it looks like it's from another time period. like it's taken from an old movie. i love it!