cooler than me...

i have a hard time thinking of myself as an artist. in fact, when asked what i do for a living i almost always use the terminology...graphic designer, instead of graphic artist. i don't know why this is. i think i have the idea that artists are much cooler than me. they live in a fantastic loft somewhere, wear paint splattered overalls and starve for the love of their art. they paint and sculpt and display their creations in a gallery somewhere for everyone to see. this is not me.

i remember when i was maybe 11 or 12 i decided that i wanted to be a painter. i'm not sure where this inspiration came from, but i was determined. so, i gathered my supplies...whatever paint and brushes i could find in the house, water, paper towels and a piece of cardboard (to stand in for the canvas that i didn't have). i think i even made some kind of easel. then i decided on my subject...a bowl of fruit seemed like the natural choice. i wish i still had that painting. i remember it not meeting my expectations, but i would like to know if it was as bad as i remember it being. after that, i never painted again...until a few years ago when i began taking classes.

that desire i had at 11 or 12, to paint, never left it just didn't get fed. i either didn't have an outlet for learning or a means, but most likely i didn't have the motivation. or maybe there was some kind of resistance telling me i couldn't do it, couldn't be an artist, who knows. that has changed. the classes i've taken have somehow inspired confidence. now, i have ideas in my head. i have a little knowledge. i have a desire to be an artist. but, would i be able to do it on my own, without the instructor leaning over my shoulder? this i didn't know, but just like all those years ago...i was determined. so, once again, i gathered my supplies. this time i was a little more prepared with the proper tools, including a canvas, and the subject was a little different...
my idea was to combine these two pictures that i took. i love sunsets and this tree (from my parent's neighbor's yard) never takes a bad photo.

i thought it would look pretty cool in watercolor. my mistake...i don't know anything about watercolor painting. needless to say, this attempt did not meet my expectations. but, i decided to try again, this time using a medium i know a little about...oils. and, i would consider this second attempt to be a success.
it's by no means perfect. it hangs on the wall in my living room and every time i look at it i find something i would have done differently. but, for my first attempt at painting on my own i have to say...not bad. and maybe, just maybe, i'm a little closer to being able to call myself an artist.