Top Ten Signs You're Watching Too Much "American Idol"
(as seen on david lettermen)
10. at confession, you say, "forgive me, dawg, for i have sinned"
9. each week, you vote one of your kids out of the house
8. after dinner you say in a british accent, "awful. just pathetic"
7. FOX switchboard operator knows you by name
6. when "idol" comes on, so do the adult diapers
5. had your stomach stapled like randy and you weren't even overweight
4. you understand what paula abdul is blabbing about
3. no number 3 -- writer watching "american idol"
2. got adam sandler to guest host your talk show so you could stay home and vote for sanjaya
1. your TiVo recommends you get some counseling
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