'cause i gotta have faith...

i grew up in a family where we went to church.  anytime the doors were open...we were there.  in sunday school i learned to read my bible, memorize verses, and race my friends to see who could find those verses in our bibles the fastest.  because of this, i think i have a pretty good understanding of the bible.  i don't know everything, by any means, but i have a solid foundation.  so, sometimes it surprises me when i read something and it's as if i'm reading it for the first time.  even though, it could be the hundredth time i've read it.

when we launched the kickstarter program for our clothing line and pledges started coming in...i was humbled.  i remember saying to Leveryll that it made me realize just how small my faith is.  this brought to mind the verse in the bible about having faith the size of a mustard seed.  so, i found it and read it.  it was as if i was reading it...FOR THE FIRST TIME.

in this story the disciples are trying to heal a boy, but aren't able to do it.  they come to Jesus, in private, and ask why.  this is what he says...

he replied, because you have so little faith.  truly i tell you, if you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mountain, move from here to there, and it will move.  nothing will be impossible for you.  matthew 17:20

if Jesus says that having faith as small as a mustard seed would make anything possible...does this mean that the disciples faith was smaller than that?  does this mean that MY faith is smaller than that?  smaller than a mustard seed?

what if i did have faith the size of a mustard seed and lived in such a way that i believed that nothing was impossible?  what if....

my friend Hilary told me that a thousand dollars is easy for God.  she told me that he owns the cattle on a thousand hills and can sell one for me.  a thousand dollars is what we're trying to raise to give our clothing line a solid foundation so that we can move on to the big dreams we have for it.  a thousand dollars.

so, i'm asking God to expand my faith.  to help me to live in such a way that i know that nothing is impossible, because anything is possible through Him.  sometimes having that faith means being obedient and asking for help.  asking for help is not one of my strengths and sometimes i really believe that this is why God makes me ask.

dear friends, family and friends of Zeteo that i've never even met.  i'm asking that you would prayerfully consider partnering with us on this journey of faith.  please pray for us and please pray about supporting us financially.  i know that Hilary is right...a thousand dollars is easy for God.  i'm trusting that he can do it!

risk it to get the biscuit...

i recently celebrated my birthday.  as i was talking with a friend, reflecting over the last year of my life, she said this to me..."Beckie, if i had to sum up your last year, i would say that it was all about taking risks."  she went on to list several examples and i could see that she was right!

this was probably the most encouraging thing anyone could have said to me on that day.  how do i measure a year in the life?  according to my friend...one risk at a time!  it was amazing to have a lesson that i have been learning affirmed through someone who lives life along side of me.  i'm pretty sure i responded with "well, you've got to risk it to get the biscuit," which is a cheesy line from a ridiculous movie.  but, i believe that the sentiment is right on...to get what you don't have, you've got to do something you've never done.

so, maybe i have learned a lot about risk.  but the learning, evolving and growing are never finished.  there are always more opportunities and lessons to be learned.  this past week i was provided with one of those opportunities as our clothing line set out on another journey of faith.  on thursday we launched a kickstarter campaign.  kickstarter is a website that helps people raise funds for creative projects.  our goal with this project is to be able to pay for many of the costs of starting a small business such as promotional materials, a website, advertising, a business license, etc.  we also hope to create an inventory of shirts that will allow us to fill orders quickly and to get the screens made to print those shirts.  this is something that we're not able to do by ourselves and we are asking our friends and family to partner with us through prayer and financial support.

this is a scary thing for me.  i have never been very good at asking for help (that in itself is a lesson i'm learning).  but, ultimately, i believe that this project is a good thing and i am trusting that God is capable.  the most amazing part is seeing how God is using people to prove just that.  in the last five days i have been encouraged, amazed and humbled by the love and support people are showing Zeteo!  this could possibly be the longest 30 days of my life as i doubt, stress and worry that we won't reach our goal.  but, it could also possibly be the most rewarding as i learn, stretch and grow in faith.

so...check out our kickstarter page!  please be praying for our journey and if you feel led...pledge...you could get a pretty cool shirt out of the deal!

walking by faith...

how often do we limit ourselves out of a fear of the messy and unpredictable?

umm...only all the time.

over the past several years i've been learning about risk.  it's been pretty clearly established that i don't take risks easily.  i like to stay in the safety of the familiar and the comfortable.

but, what i'm learning is that a life without risk and taking chances is a life without adventure.  and, possibly even a life filled with regrets.  is that really a life i want to live?  not even a little bit.  so, slowly but surely i'm learning to stretch myself out of my comfort zone and do things that scare me just a little bit.

recently i've had the opportunity to put this into practice.  for a long time i've had a dream to design cool t-shirts that people would want to wear.  well, with the help of a good friend (who doesn't easily get scared by the unknown), that dream is in the process of becoming a reality.  it's happened very fast, which is scary.  i can't even tell you the steps that took place to get us to where we are today.  all i know is that those steps happened and we're here, which is amazing!

one night, while i was working on the shirts, the song "walk by faith" by jeremy camp came on my pandora station.  the chorus says, "i will walk by faith, even when i cannot see."  sometimes i wish that my life were like a movie where i get the script ahead of time.  if only i could see how this would end...see the outcome.  unfortunately, that's impossible and life is unpredictable.  this moment with jeremy camp inspired this shirt...(which happens to be my favorite and i can't wait to see it printed)

can i see God's hand in this...yes, very clearly.  taking this risk, putting myself out there is scary, but it also takes a step of faith, trusting that God's plan is perfect.  would i love to see the final outcome before i take that step, of course.  but, that's not what faith is about.  so, i choose to walk BY FAITH, even when i cannot see!

visit our facebook page...like it...and, follow along with us on this journey of faith.

here we go again...

in the summer of 2002 i spent two months teaching conversational english in kazakhstan.  if you have ever lived in another country for any length of time, then you know that it is not easy.  things that you take for granted here in the states become difficult, sometimes impossible.  you have to learn to manage your expectations, prepare for the unexpected and be flexible.

a couple of years before that trip, the movie "the emperor's new groove" came out and quickly became one of my favorites.  there is a scene in the movie where pacha and kuzco end up tied to a tree branch, careening down a river toward a waterfall.  they have this conversation...

pacha: uh-oh
kuzco: don't tell me.  we're about to go over a huge waterfall
pacha: yep
kuzco: sharp rocks at the bottom?
pacha: most likely
kuzco: bring it on

during our time in Kazakhstan we would face some new unknown every day.  we wouldn't know what to expect, how the day would go, if the bus we needed would show up on time, if at all.  this conversation between pacha and kuzco became a conversation our team would have on a daily basis.  once we knew where we were going or what we were supposed to be doing, someone would ask the question..."sharp rocks at the bottom?"  (meaning, is it going to be difficult, challenging and frustrating).  then, someone else would answer with, "most likely."  and, we would respond like kuzco..."bring it on."

i think we all like to think of ourselves as flexible, able to roll with the punches.  i know that i do.  but, if i'm really honest with myself...i hate change.  and, i hate the unknown.  i'm a planner by nature.  i think about things and through things for a long time before taking action.  flexibility is difficult for a planner.  but, what i've learned over the years is that you can plan to be flexible.  pacha and kuzco did it.  my team in kazakhstan did it.  it is possible to head towards a situation knowing that it's most likely not going to turn out anything like you would expect.  knowing that you're going to have to adjust.

it's not easy, and i definitely don't have it mastered, but i'm working on it.  because, i don't want to live life in such a comfortable place that my response to the sharp rocks is...well, then i'm gonna do my best to paddle upstream because that doesn't sound at all like something i want to be a part of.  i want to look at the sharp rocks ahead and say...BRING.  IT.  ON.

while i don't share your enthusiasm...

most of the things that come out of my mouth originated in a movie.  i don't know why this is.  i don't know why i remember these useless things.  but, for some reason, most of what i see, do, and/or hear reminds me of a line from a movie (or an episode of friends, but we'll save that for another post).

the most recent of these moments came from the movie armageddon.  you know, the one where ben affleck and bruce willis go into outer space.  the scene that came to mind takes place when the guys first learn about the asteroid and what NASA is asking them to do.  owen wilson's character, oscar, is excited, saying that this is history and of course he is in.  steve buscemi's character, rockhound, responds with this...

"while I don't share his enthusiasm, you know me.  beam me up, scotty!"

at the beginning of this year, after months and months of talking about it, my friends and i started a bible study.  the purpose of this group is to not only study the bible together, but to live life...together.  even before the group started, we had talked about wanting to serve people.  we want to find ways to reach out and help those around us.  we want to meet needs, love people, and use our lives to point towards Jesus. 

this past monday we sat and talked about all of the things we want to do and then we put a plan in place to get started.  next week will be our first service project.  the entire room responded with excitement.  my response was much like rockhound's...while i don't share your enthusiasm.

honestly, some of the things we have planned scare me to death.  it's not scary stuff, it's just outside of my comfort zone and that is scary.  my friend tim wisely said something to the affect of, "if it scares you then i think that means you need to do it."  and...i agree...100%.  i know that the things that stretch me are also the things that bring the most growth.  i also know that the projects we have planned are good and right.  that doesn't necessarily make them less scary.

but, like rockhound i'm saying, "beam me up!"  i'm.  all.  in.

there is another scene in the movie when they're getting ready to take off into space and oscar is rambling incessantly.  i can completely relate to oscar in this moment...

"great, i got that excited/scared feeling.  like 98% excited, 2% scared.  or maybe it's more - it could be two - it could be 98% scared, 2% excited."

"Jumping off the cliff is how you feel God's hand underneath you." - Anonymous

my house is a very, very, very fine house...

in november, of 2012, i bought my very first house!  it was the most stressful, emotional, grownup thing i've ever done.  it's something that i had always dreamed of doing.  i started the process several times, only to get overwhelmed and freak out a little bit.  and, if i'm being honest, i thought that no one in their right mind would give me money.  well....someone did.  and, as it turns out, i'm considered to be the "perfect lender."  who knew?

i've been living in the house for about six weeks and i've already made one panicked phone call to my father, fixed a toilet that wasn't flushing right and own power tools.  i would say i'm officially a homeowner.  unpacking and getting settled has been a slow process, but it's getting there.  here are pictures of the rooms that are fit to be seen.  (disclaimer:  the majority of my furniture was free...don't judge)

The Front!  (This pic was taken before it was officially mine.  I say that because those potted plants were the previous owners as I have no green thumb and would surely have killed them by now)

Entry Hall

Kitchen

Dining Room

Living Room

Backyard

Downstairs Bath/Laundry

Guest Bedroom

Guest Bathroom

My Fabulous Closet!  (The only portion of my bedroom that is organized)