in the spring i was watching an episode of ugly betty (don't judge) and i can't even remember what the episode was about, but there was a scene that has stuck with me. in the scene, betty and her sister, hilda, were sitting on the couch in their living room. betty was telling hilda that she felt like her life was taking one step forward and two steps back and everywhere she turned it felt like she was reminded that she was just a dork. i loved hilda's response..."somehow you've got it in your head...that this is your story. but, you gotta let that go. it's time for you to come up with a whole new story for yourself."
i've been learning a lot about stories recently, about the stories we tell with our lives. i think that sometimes, like betty, we don't realize that we can change our story, if we really want to. and, i think that sometimes it takes seeing ourselves through the eyes of somebody else for us to realize it. in donald miller's book, a million miles in a thousand years, he says that "the story you are telling yourself is typically not the same story you're telling the world." in that one statement i find utter relief and immense fear. what story am i telling the world?
i can blame this thought process on donald miller's book, but if i'm honest with myself it came up long before i read it. in my new years post in january of this year i talked about taking risks and living without fear. and, that's where it started. because i believe that fear and risk are central to living a good story. i realize in my own life that i try to avoid risk. i try to avoid fear and conflict. i go looking for an easier story. one that is safe and secure.
i look for this easier story because when i dream of the possibilities, of what could be, i am plagued with this small voice that says..."you can't do it. if you try, you will fail."
it's the voice of fear. it's a voice that encourages mediocrity and safety. it's a voice that i listen to far too easily.
donald miller says that "the great stories go to those who don't give in to fear." and, this is what i want...to live a great story.
