oh, the weather outside is frightful...

i learned a new word over the thanksgiving holiday...perfidy. it means the ultimate act of betrayal; treason. i didn't learn it in practice. i haven't been betrayed, as far as i know. i learned it from my seven year old nephew. scary, i know. i asked my bro-in-law if he ever wonders how his son got smarter than him. of course he said no (my brother in law is really smart). which is where my nephew gets it, his parents. my genius sister and her genius husband are breeding genius children. i'm not bitter, i'm just saying.

here is the conversation i had with my nephew after that last question to his father...
jarod: the internet, beckie.
beckie: what about the internet, jarod?
jarod: it will make you smarter.
beckie: oh really? is that where you get all of your knowledge from?
jarod: probably.

that kid cracks me up!

everything...

i recently promised a friend that i would never become one of those people that pours out my heart and soul on my blog, for the whole world to see. but, every so often i hear a song that just speaks to me and i want to share that. i know God sees music in my life as a way to get through to me, i love these words...

find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place where i find peace, again

you are the strength, that keeps me walking
you are the hope, that keeps me trusting
you are the light, to my soul
you are my purpose...you're everything

you calm the storms, and give me rest
you hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall
you steal my heart, and you take my breath away
would you take me in? take me deeper now?

how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you?
would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

cause you're all i want, you're all i need
you're everything, everything
you're all i want, you're all i need
you're everything, everything

152 insights into my soul...

recently i realized that i've fully embraced the northwest culture...by visiting starbucks on a regular basis. the funny thing is, i'm not a huge coffee drinker, but for some reason i feel the call of that grande caramel no whip mocha just the same. i always think of that scene in "you've got mail" where tom hanks says that starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. oh how i relate, because making decisions is not my strong suit. that's why i made those decisions once and then i just get the same thing every time. but, i also really love the atmosphere of coffee shops, all warm and cozy smelling like coffee. people sitting around reading, studying, playing games. great place to people watch.

i began to frequent starbucks on the way to work because i'm not a morning person and something about the thought of caffeine or the smell of coffee helps. i've been told that you can teach yourself to be a morning person, but after getting up at the same time for almost a year and it not getting any easier, i disagree. i'm the type of person that thinks a good day is getting to work without having to say a word to anyone before i get there, which is difficult to accomplish when faced with the entirely too chipper drive thru lady who wants to talk to me about my job, her job, the weather, and how sales are going that morning. i feel the desire to strangle this woman while saying, "i don't care if the peppermint mocha is the hot item today i just want my coffee so i can go," in the nicest way possible of course. i'm not normally prone to violent outbursts, but when there is an extremely chatty woman in between me and my caffeine, i get a little disgruntled. i'm beginning to realize that i might have a problem, i'll get some help for that.

search for the holy grail…

have you ever been to church in a movie theater? i can now say that i have. i’ve been church hunting for a couple of months now and it’s no easy task. i kind of had it in my mind that it would be easy, almost fun, but i was mistaken. there are so many questions…what am i looking for? strong teaching, great worship, community. so, in my search, i've been visiting anything and everything. this brings me to the movie theater. the interesting thing about churches in the northwest is that you tend to find what seem to be extremes. you have your traditional, hymn singing, walk in an know exactly what to expect churches. and you have your, meet in a theater or pizza place, extremely non-traditional, everything new, church starts. my experience yesterday was with the latter.

i visited a 3 year old church start called “coram deo.” here are three new things, or “never before’s,” that i experienced….1. i've never before heard a pastor use the words, “chill, money, tight, or my bad” before in my life. granted, this pastor was at least my age, maybe younger.
2. i've never before been told we needed to hurry up and leave because the movie starts in ten minutes and there are paying customers waiting to get in. (side note…the theater we met in was showing SAW) 3. i’ve never before been to a church where everyone looks just like me…young twenty something-thirty something. since i've moved here i've often wondered where all the young christian people are, well i found them, it just took me a 45 minute drive to get to them. which brought up another question…do i want to go to a church where everyone looks just like me? i don’t think so.

so, the search continues...