between raising hell and amazing grace

what doesn't kill you...

2012-02-02T12:10:00.000-08:00

what doesn't kill you makes you stronger...we've all heard and/or said this saying dozens of times. it's usually heard in the midst of trials and adversity. it's meant to make you feel better...like if you survive this struggle that you're dealing with, you'll make it to the other side stronger. i actually believe this to be true...if it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger. you will learn from the experience, you will grow, mature and be a more developed person. plus, it generally makes for a pretty good story.

do you remember the snow suit you had as a kid? you know...the one that covered you completely and made you feel like the kid from "a christmas story?" i remember every year trying mine on to see if it still fit. the snow suit was essential to having fun during the winter months. as an adult...i don't keep a snow suit in storage. but, a couple of weeks ago i found myself wishing i did.

the experience that didn't kill me and the moment that had me wishing for a snow suit were one in the same...learning how to snow ski. while my friends assured me that i wouldn't be going fast enough to get injured let alone die, there was still fear. fear of the ski lift, the fear of looking stupid, the fear of trying and failing, fear of the unknown. fear...lots and lots of fear.

i'm the type of person who generally runs from the fear. i weigh all the possible outcomes and usually end up taking the path with the fewest risks. unfortunately, i think this cautious behavior can sometimes be irrational and keeps me from some really truly great experiences. so, with borrowed clothes, gloves, goggles, etc (and partly due to my friend who said, "Beckie's going to find a way to back out")...I "learned" how to ski. well, i fell down a lot anyway.

what i learned from this exhausting and humbling experience is...1.) The people with you can make it or break it. i was lucky to have some great friends who were extremely patient with me. one of my favorite memories from the day is just sitting with them on the side of a snowy mountain. 2.) allowing the fear to hold me back will only end in regret. if i had backed out, if i hadn't done it, i would have always wished i had.

shortly after returning from my trip i heard the song "what doesn't kill you" by Kelly Clarkson. i love these lyrics..."what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, stand a little taller. what doesn't kill you makes a fighter, footsteps even lighter." i do stand a little taller (that is, after my sore muscles allowed me to) and i feel like my steps are a little lighter. because, i'm extremely proud of myself for trying something new and for not letting the fear rob me of a fantastic experience.

dude, your perspective on life sucks...

2011-07-07T10:45:00.000-07:00

yesterday was my birthday. i never wanted to become one of those people who despise their birthday, but somewhere along the way i became just that. i guess despise is a strong word. i don't really despise them. however, over the years somehow july 6th has become less about celebrating life. instead it's become the mark of another year passing with things left unaccomplished and undone. truthfully...

my perspective on life sucks.

the day before my birthday i was completely dreading it, trying to figure out how i could avoid it, somehow sleep through it. but, yesterday morning i opened a gift that had travelled thousands of miles from nepal, to get to me on my day. my cousin jessica had made me an amazing mixed cd (go here to see my feelings on mixed tapes). she put a particular song on there that might have seemed a random choice. but, she said that it should give me a "perspective about age and life." she was...completley. right.

seasons of love from the musical rent...
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
five hundred twenty five thousand moments so dear
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure, measure a year?
in daylights, in sunsets, in midnights, in cups of coffee
in inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife
five hundred twenty five thousand six hundred minutes
how do you measure a year in the life?

how about love?

how DO you measure a year in the life? i had been measuring my life all wrong. i had been focusing on the "woe is me's" and the "if only's." i had completely lost sight of the fact that i have a pretty good life. i have friends and family who love and care about me (my facebook wall is a good indicator). i have a good job. i've done some AMAZING things. and, most days, i'm really happy. so, with this new perspective in mind i went about my day. and, it turned out to be really really good! i felt loved and treasured. i felt cared for by the people who went out of their way to make it special by taking me to lunch, making me dinner, getting me a cake, and making me one fantastic birthday mix.

the moral of this story...
measure your life, measure you life in love

men are from mars...

2011-05-12T11:10:00.000-07:00

you know how after you've read, or heard, or seen something impactful, then that's all you read, or hear, or see? recently, i've been reading the book "wild at heart: discovering the secret of a man's soul" by john eldridge. i know there are some who would argue that as a woman i shouldn't read this book...it's only for men. and, for a long time i believed this argument. but, i'm glad that i changed my mind. this book has not only been enlightening, but it has taught me a lot about myself, the men around me, and the world. while i've been reading, things have been popping up all over the place...reminders, applications, "ahaha" moments.

a couple of years ago i had the following conversation with my nephew...
nephew: i want an uncle
me: why do you want an uncle?
nephew: because i want someone around who understands me.

my nephew is one of few males in a pretty female saturated family. he has three aunts, none of them married. he is often the only male in a room full of women. i never really thought he noticed or that it bothered him. i never thought it was odd that i was the one he wrestled with and played video games with. i didn't really think it mattered. and then, the other day i read this...

"a boy learns who he is and what he's got from a man, or the company of men. he cannot learn it any other place. he cannot learn it from other boys, and he cannot learn it from the world of women."

i'm not saying that i'm concerned about my nephew's masculinity, he has some amazing men in his life...his father, my father, grandfather's. but, this was a lesson for me. i somehow thought that by filling the role of both the aunt and the uncle, i was meeting a need. but, as much as i would like to believe that i "understand" boys...it's impossible.

the other night i was watching one of my new favorite shows, traffic light, and this happened...

in a follow up scene, the wife becomes upset when the husband allows the little boy to be photographed in a cowboy costume with guns, she calls him a "baby ted nugent." this instigates an argument weighing whether or not guns are inherently bad. finally the husband brings up hunting and reminds the wife that she's okay with him hunting. the wife responds, "you haven't done that since we got together...i tamed you."

i honestly don't know if i would have given this episode a second thought if i hadn't been reading this book. but, with john eldridge's words in my head, all i could think was..."no, you're emasculating your husband and you're getting ready to do the same thing to your son."

"society at large can't make up its mind about men. having spent the last thirty years redefining masculinity into something more sensitive, safe, manageable and, well, feminine, it now berates men for not being men."

i was listening to ryan seacrest's radio show the other day and he asked..."do you think it's weird when a guy orders something that is typically ordered by women?" he then proceeded to tell what he had ordered, and i have no clue what it was. but, i think ryan is a perfect example of this point, because he is the epitome of "metrosexual." i would be surprised if i found out that he went hunting on the weekends with his buddies. he is an example of this redefined masculinity...sensitive, safe, manageable. and, we all secretly question his sexuality.

we are bi-polar. we want men to be strong, secure, safe, with an emphasis on safe. we don't want them to play with guns, sky dive, or anything too dangerous. we want to change them, to tame them. but, we still want them to be men, masculine. i don't think we can have it both ways.

cooler than me...addendum

2011-03-25T10:02:00.000-07:00

last night i was sitting in my living room with some teenage girls when one of them asked what i did for a living. as usual my response..."i'm a graphic designer." then she said, "i could tell you must be an artist. well, assuming that you painted, drew or created all of this." (with a flourish of her arm that took in the whole room).

moral of this story...maybe the only person i'm fooling is me.

cooler than me...

2011-03-24T15:13:00.000-07:00

i have a hard time thinking of myself as an artist. in fact, when asked what i do for a living i almost always use the terminology...graphic designer, instead of graphic artist. i don't know why this is. i think i have the idea that artists are much cooler than me. they live in a fantastic loft somewhere, wear paint splattered overalls and starve for the love of their art. they paint and sculpt and display their creations in a gallery somewhere for everyone to see. this is not me.

i remember when i was maybe 11 or 12 i decided that i wanted to be a painter. i'm not sure where this inspiration came from, but i was determined. so, i gathered my supplies...whatever paint and brushes i could find in the house, water, paper towels and a piece of cardboard (to stand in for the canvas that i didn't have). i think i even made some kind of easel. then i decided on my subject...a bowl of fruit seemed like the natural choice. i wish i still had that painting. i remember it not meeting my expectations, but i would like to know if it was as bad as i remember it being. after that, i never painted again...until a few years ago when i began taking classes.

that desire i had at 11 or 12, to paint, never left it just didn't get fed. i either didn't have an outlet for learning or a means, but most likely i didn't have the motivation. or maybe there was some kind of resistance telling me i couldn't do it, couldn't be an artist, who knows. that has changed. the classes i've taken have somehow inspired confidence. now, i have ideas in my head. i have a little knowledge. i have a desire to be an artist. but, would i be able to do it on my own, without the instructor leaning over my shoulder? this i didn't know, but just like all those years ago...i was determined. so, once again, i gathered my supplies. this time i was a little more prepared with the proper tools, including a canvas, and the subject was a little different...
my idea was to combine these two pictures that i took. i love sunsets and this tree (from my parent's neighbor's yard) never takes a bad photo.

i thought it would look pretty cool in watercolor. my mistake...i don't know anything about watercolor painting. needless to say, this attempt did not meet my expectations. but, i decided to try again, this time using a medium i know a little about...oils. and, i would consider this second attempt to be a success.
it's by no means perfect. it hangs on the wall in my living room and every time i look at it i find something i would have done differently. but, for my first attempt at painting on my own i have to say...not bad. and maybe, just maybe, i'm a little closer to being able to call myself an artist.

they say it's your birthday...

2011-02-01T10:36:00.000-08:00

today, i want to celebrate this guy...this is my dad's senior picture and it has always held a special place in my heart. today is his 60th birthday. so, in honor of this day i want to share why i believe that my dad is the greatest man in the whole world. he is the perfect mix of manly and tough with just enough sensitivity and compassion. my dad can seriously do ANYTHING. he refers to himself as a "jack of all trades, master of none." but, my sisters and i like to call him the "renaissance man" (a person whose expertise spans a significant number of different subject areas). here are some examples of why he's the greatest and how he passed that expertise on to me over the years...

1. when i learned how to drive he taught me how to check the essential fluids in my car, change a tire, the windshield wipers and headlights. all skills that have been extremely useful. he also taught me how to change a spark plug, a skill that i haven't needed yet, but if the time ever comes i will be ready.

2. he taught me how to play the piano. he stuck little pieces of masking tape on the keys and lettered them so i knew what notes they were and then showed me how to read music.

3. when i was about 15 he told me that when a boy comes to pick me up for a date he WILL come to the door. if he sits in the driveway and honks he WON'T be taking me out that night. he not only told me how i should expect men to treat me, but set an example for me in the way he cares for the women in his life.

4. when i was learning to play the guitar i asked him how i get to the point where i can strum while changing chords. his answer..."you just do it." i found this extremely frustrating until about a week later when i miraculously was able to "just do it" and realized that he was absolutely correct. i shouldn't have doubted.

5. over the years he made me weed the garden, mow the lawn, pick fruit, chop wood and countless other chores. at the time i was pretty sure he was torturing me, but looking back i realize he was teaching me not to be afraid of hard work.

6. when i was growing up sometimes on the weekends he would go and rent a nintendo from the video store and we would play mario brothers and duck hunt. pretty sure this is why to this day I LOVE VIDEO GAMES.

7. he taught me not only how to say words like distributor cap, exhaust manifold and catalytic converter, but also taught me what they mean. a knowledge that comes in handy when i need to fool a mechanic into believing that i'm not a helpless girl and i actually do know what i'm talking about.

8. when i was really young i remember finding out that the embroidery picture hanging on the wall was done by him. pretty sure this is the day i learned that my dad can do ANYTHING.

9. a couple of years ago he moved all my earthly belongings about four times in the span of 9 months. after time number four he said, "i don't want to have to do this again for a long time." i think we made it two years, but when the time came he was there ready and willing to help.

10. the other day he told me how he bought a bible for his co-worker, wrote an inscription in it and then set it on a shelf at work waiting for the time to be right to give it to him. only to find out that the co-worker started reading the bible on his own, found the inscription and came to him. i'm pretty sure this is what Jesus would have done.

he's the reason i give whenever someone is surprised i have the ability to do something like...help re-roof a house, use power tools, efficiently pack a trunk and/or u-haul truck, or jump start a car. he's proud to have raised three independent and self-sufficient daughters. he is one of the most responsible and hardest working people i've ever met and would give you the shirt off his back if he thought you needed it. there is nothing more important to him than family.dad, i know that today when people wish you a happy birthday and ask how your day is going you will say, "it's just another day." but, today we are celebrating you because you deserve it. you do so much for the people around you with no request for recognition. you are the epitome of servant hearted. thank you for always being there to help me, to give me advice, to just be a sounding board. i love you! happy 60th birthday!

look at this photograph...part deux

2011-01-11T14:50:00.000-08:00

what happens when something you love affects the people around you? over christmas i was talking to my niece and nephew about the fact that i'm constantly taking their pictures. since they were born they have been two of my favorite subjects, so if it's going to affect anyone it's them. i have several albums of our little "photo shoots" where i will make them stand on this ladder, pose by this tree, sit on this hay bail. i don't know how many times they've heard me say, "wait, don't move, let me get my camera." so, i asked them....does it ever bother you? my fourteen year old niece just shrugged her shoulders and said, "it's just who you are."

one of the reasons i love pictures so much is that they tell a story and that story can be different for every person that looks at it...it's subjective. but, to the photographer it's something very different, because they know everything that went on in the creation of that photograph. there is a picture i took of my niece years ago that demonstrates this completely. she was about four, in the backyard picking flowers. i crouched down to take her picture, trying to be really quiet so i wouldn't disturb her, trying to be sneaky. without even looking at me she said..."i know you're taking a picture of me Beckie."i love this picture, with the flowers in her hand, the band aid on her knee, her little hand brushing her hair back. but, that one sentence from her makes it perfect.

my nephew's response to my question was pretty similar, just in boy lingo..."naw". but, one of my favorite pictures of my nephew was at a time when it did in fact bother him. he was around two or three and i think it was one of those times when he was doing something cute and i wanted to capture it. but, he was having none of it. i don't remember why, but he did not want me taking his picture. so, i did what any good aunt would do...i took it anyway. totally. worth. it.
the story behind this one is that he wore that little blue tank top for years. it quickly became a little half shirt on him, but he wore it anyway because it was his favorite....so cute.

if cassadie and jarod had answered my question differently, if it did bother them, then i don't know what i would do. but, i'm glad that they're ok with it, because when they're on board i get pictures like this...

look at this photograph...

2010-12-07T10:42:00.001-08:00

i love pictures. there is something about a great picture that makes me enormously happy. when people ask the question...if your house were on fire, what would you grab while running out the door? my answer would be...my photo albums.

i took a photography class in school and this only perpetuated my love for a well taken picture. it is also where i fell in love with the dark room and development process. in fact, i resisted the digital era for a long time, i was loyal to film. until i realized that digital allows you to do all of your editing right there, in an instant. because, you can take hundreds of pictures, instead of 32.

over the years i have had the opportunity to work for two different professional photographer's. from the first i learned that Cannon is the best "point and shoot" camera around. from the second i learned that no picture should leave your hands without some kind of digital retouching. and, i adhere to both of these philosophies. i will only buy a camera if it's a cannon and i don't post, print or share a picture if it hasn't been touched by photoshop first.

a couple of weeks ago i stumbled upon some "actions" in photoshop that were shared here. i've been messing with some of my pictures and i absolutely love the outcome.

the original (taken in rhodes, greece)

with just a little boost of color.

simple black & white.

using the "colorized" action in photoshop.

it also works great with people. this is a picture of me and my friend Andrea.

the same picture using the "colorized" action.

but, this might be my favorite....

the original, taken in lindos greece, is a pretty spectacular picture on it's own.

but, with the "colorized" action, it looks like it's from another time period. like it's taken from an old movie. i love it!

it's not a fairy tale...

2010-11-17T10:47:00.000-08:00

in the spring i was watching an episode of ugly betty (don't judge) and i can't even remember what the episode was about, but there was a scene that has stuck with me. in the scene, betty and her sister, hilda, were sitting on the couch in their living room. betty was telling hilda that she felt like her life was taking one step forward and two steps back and everywhere she turned it felt like she was reminded that she was just a dork. i loved hilda's response..."somehow you've got it in your head...that this is your story. but, you gotta let that go. it's time for you to come up with a whole new story for yourself."

i've been learning a lot about stories recently, about the stories we tell with our lives. i think that sometimes, like betty, we don't realize that we can change our story, if we really want to. and, i think that sometimes it takes seeing ourselves through the eyes of somebody else for us to realize it. in donald miller's book, a million miles in a thousand years, he says that "the story you are telling yourself is typically not the same story you're telling the world." in that one statement i find utter relief and immense fear. what story am i telling the world?

i can blame this thought process on donald miller's book, but if i'm honest with myself it came up long before i read it. in my new years post in january of this year i talked about taking risks and living without fear. and, that's where it started. because i believe that fear and risk are central to living a good story. i realize in my own life that i try to avoid risk. i try to avoid fear and conflict. i go looking for an easier story. one that is safe and secure.

i look for this easier story because when i dream of the possibilities, of what could be, i am plagued with this small voice that says..."you can't do it. if you try, you will fail."

it's the voice of fear. it's a voice that encourages mediocrity and safety. it's a voice that i listen to far too easily.

donald miller says that "the great stories go to those who don't give in to fear." and, this is what i want...to live a great story.

where love and hate collide...

2010-08-10T15:26:00.000-07:00

this year i am working at the clark county fair, selling tickets for parking. i am doing this in the evenings, directly after my "day" job. so, from aug. 6-15 i will be working about 15 hour days, which means very little sleep. sounds crazy, i know. but, if you survive the 10 days you have some extra cash, which is always welcome, not to mention some great stories.

my job is basically to stop the cars as they enter the fair grounds and charge them $6 for parking. generally speaking, they do not like this...at all. but, among the grumpy people there are also the nice, the positive and even the funny. it's an exhausting week and i have to deal with some mean people, which i don't like. but, i get to work with some fun people and have great stories and extra money at the end, which i do like.

i'm exactly half way through the ten days and to give you a little taste of what my experience has been like so far, i have written some letters. this is how i would respond to these people if i was given the time during our brief interaction.

1. dear teenage boys in the gray dodge magnum...i know you were just having a good time, but offering to kiss me in exchange for free parking was only slightly funny and mostly gross. BTW...there is a fine line between confidence and arrogance and you are tap dancing all over it.

2. dear driver of the mini van...there is a spider building a pretty righteous web in your passenger side window. in fact, the spider is so large that i can't imagine that it has escaped your notice and therefore have to assume it is some kind of pet.

3. dear sir and madame...getting out of the car to yell at me did not intimidate me. in fact, you only succeeded in making me want to charge you more than $6. P.S. if it wasn't advertised that you would need to pay for parking, than every person in the line behind you with their exact change sticking out the window just waiting for you to get back into your car and drive away clearly must be clairvoyant.

4. dear fellow ticket seller...your lesson on how to tell if someone is russian by the type of car they drive was kind of weird and slightly offensive until you explained that you were russian and fit into this stereotype as well.

5. dear guys in the giant pickup...thank you for your positive attitude about paying the $6, it was refreshing. and, telling me i had a great smile made my night. if you had started with that line i may have let you in for free.

6. dear parking attendants on break...thanks for rushing to help when the big van started going the wrong way and was heading straight toward us. your assistance was not needed, but it felt very chivalrous and i like to see the hustle.

7. dear man who gave me the nasty, sticky, slimy twenty dollar bill...i don't ever want to know what was on that twenty and sincerely hope that the hand sanitizer i used killed whatever it was until i had time to wash it off properly. if your sole purpose was to disgust me out of revenge for having to pay me, then i say "well done, sir."

8. dear little boy in the back seat...when you yelled "thank you" at the top of your lungs as your car pulled away it made me extremely happy. not only was it adorable but it was filled with such joy and excitement that i couldn't help but smile for a long time after you left.

9. dear kid driving the Bentley...you are extremely lucky that you happened to come down the lane of a car enthusiast, because i was so enamored with your car that i didn't even listen to your story about how you had already paid for parking once today and could you pretty please not have to pay for it again. i just said, "your car is fantastic" and sent you on your merry way with a goofy grin on my face. it didn't even occur to me to mind that you are about 12 years old and driving a freakin' Bentley.

10. dear parking lot attendants...we sincerely apologize for passing all the crazies with their incessant questions on to you, but there's only so much one person can take and we thought we would share the love. your friends, the ticket sellers.

i remember it all very well, looking back...

2010-08-03T12:11:00.000-07:00

it was the summer of 2008, shortly after the summer olympics. i was sitting on the deck of a pool with my sisters, watching my niece and nephew swim. we were discussing swimming, naturally as it had taken over the world thanks to michael phelps. we were also discussing the possibility of cassadie joining a swim team. my sister had been considering it, but wasn’t sure. neither of the kids had any swim lessons up till this point, other than what they’re grandma (my mom) had taught them in the local pool. but, we all saw some natural talent, at least we thought we did. it’s hard to push aside the bias when it’s someone so important to you.

shortly after that discussion, my sister did put cassadie on a swim team. and, amazingly enough, the coach saw the same talent we did. about a year later that same coach saw cassadie’s brother for the first time and began the campaign for my sister to get jarod swimming as well (he’s tall and strong…good for a swimmer).

two years after that first conversation, they are both swimming on a year round swim team and doing extremely well. they are both naturals at the breast stroke, even my untrained eye can see that it’s by far their best stroke. cassadie just took 3^rd in the 200 meter breast stroke and 4^th in the 100 at her age group championships this past weekend. she is just 7 seconds off the high school qualifying time (she’s 2 months shy of 14). i am amazed by her progression.

there is nothing i enjoy more than watching them swim. because not only do they put in the time and hard work, but they LOVE swimming. at a swim meet in january jarod had finished all his races and asked if he could get in the warm up pool and swim laps. a 10 year old who has been swimming all weekend wants to get back in the pool and swim some more…if that isn’t pure joy of the sport than i don’t know what is.

here are some pictures i captured at a swim meet in june...

cassadie has a whole warm up routine where she swings her arms and stretches. it's really cute.

(cassadie is on the right.) i remember the first time i saw her leave the blocks, it looked nothing like this. two years and hard work has definitely paid off.

(cassadie is closest in the frame) this is her breast stroke. and, this picture is of her winning her heat as you can see she is ahead of all the other girls.

jarod getting ready for one of his races.

jarod does not like the butterfly, it's awkward and really hard on the legs. i've heard him several times heading to swim a fly race saying..."i'm gonna die." he might not like swimming these races, but he has never once died, and i really like how the pictures turn out.

i would title this "lookie lou jarod". i'm sure he's just sizing up the competition, but he sure looks around a lot.

matchmaker, matchmaker, make me a match...

2010-06-16T10:09:00.000-07:00

i'm going to put the stories about my trip on pause for a minute to share something that happened at the boys and girls club a while back. i spend two hours each week at the club, usually in the art room since that's kind of my thing. i help the teacher pass out supplies and i wander around and help the kids if they need it. the first hour is usually insane. i'm not sure why, but it's loud and it's crazy and we very rarely get the project completed. the kids are all hopped up on something. the second hour is my favorite. it's the exact opposite of the first, it's calm and it's quiet. and, because it's a little more sedate i'm able to sit down at a table and hang out with the kids.

when i chat with the kids i try to ask them questions about themselves...school, friends, brothers, sisters. and most of the time they will ask me questions about my life. which generally consist of...do you have kids? are you married? do you go to school? do you have a roommate? my favorite...if you're not still in school and you're not married, then why do you have a roommate?

so, one day a little girl, in the second grade, is asking me these questions. i'm answering them and everything is normal, until...she asks my age. this is not a question the kids usually ask. here is what happened next (names are changed)...

sophie: how old are you?
me: 32
sophie: (very emphatically) 32! and you're not married? what are you waiting for? go out there and pick someone already (points outside for extra emphasis).
me: well, it's not that easy. it's hard to find a good man.
sophie: oh, you want a gooooood man? what about jason (B & G club staff)? he's a good man.
me: i'm sure he is, but i don't really know jason.
sophie: what about tim? you know him. he's standing right outside. (she gets up and runs outside).

i follow her in some kind of daze, out of morbid curiosity, surely this isn't happening. this is the conversation i overhear...

sophie: do you have a girlfriend?
tim: no
sophie: do you want to go out on a date?
tim: um, sure. i guess we could go get ice cream or something.
sophie: no, not with me, with her. (turns and points at me).

and, i know what my face looked like at that exact moment because it was mirrored in tim's. it was a deer in the headlights, yeah, that just happened, kind of look. what happened next? sophie yelled "you need to take beckie on a date because she's not married" and then skipped off.

well, folks, that's the story of how i got set up by an 8 year old. i'm amazed at the thought processes of children sometimes. i often find myself thinking, "wow, how did you get there from here." in this case i knew exactly how sophie got there....to an 8 year old, 32 is old. and, 32 and single is unheard of.

i've thought a lot about sophie's question...what are you waiting for? the only response i can come up with...i don't know, something amazing i guess!

my life in ruins...

2010-06-11T09:54:00.000-07:00

when you imagine greece, what picture comes to mind? is it this?
i think for many of us it is. and, i believe that the movie "sisterhood of the travelling pants" only perpetuated this stereotype. this is what i imagined all of greece to look like...white washed walls, beautiful blue water. so, imagine my surprise when athens actually looked like this...athens is big, it's loud, it's busy and it's extremely diverse. i should not have been surprised that it looks nothing like the iconic image in my mind. after all, it's a major city, it hosted the olympics. i shouldn't have been surprised...but i was.

the day we docked in athens found us in the middle of a transportation strike. there were much larger strikes and rioting going on in the week following our departure, but for our one day it was just the transportation. if we had been on tours this wouldn't have been an issue. but, since we are cheap and relied on public transportation, this posed an interesting problem. we found ourselves running for trains and buses, miraculously making it on the last one running in the morning and the first one running in the evening. this was the only port where we very narrowly made it back to the ship on time...with about 5 minutes to spare. (FYI...the ship will leave you behind if you're not back for the "all aboard" time).

our first stop in athens...the acropolis (with about 3,000 of the other tourists from our ship). it kind of became a game of where's waldo as we tried to stay together.
second stop...gyro's for lunch!
after lunch we wandered around down town. these guys guard one of the government buildings. i don't know about you, but don't they instill fear? i mean, with their white tights and pom pom shoes? if i had a video of this moment it would show the guy on the right teetering precariously on his one leg, which gives further proof that these soldiers are not at all scary.
next stop...dessert! greek baklava...yummmm!
if there were any lingering thoughts that i might see the white washed buildings in athens, this image erased them completely. (notice the KFC)

leave the gun...take the cannoli...

2010-05-28T14:32:00.000-07:00

one thing i learned about myself while travelling is that i’m not very good at geography or history. i’m sure the knowledge was there at some point, i just lost it somewhere along the way. i won’t bore you with stories that prove this fact like how i didn’t realize that egypt is on the continent of africa or that pineapple and coffee can come from costa rica. i fully admit that in some ways i am the typical egocentric american, not paying attention to things outside my sphere. but, i am also an american that loves learning how other cultures live. one piece of advice i would give to someone visiting another country…don’t be afraid to eat where they eat, ride public transportation and just roam the streets. i firmly believe that this is how you fully SEE the culture.

on the morning of April 25^th i woke up in naples, italy.

which is coincidentally one of my favorite things about cruise life…waking up in a completely different country. i admit that I didn’t do a lot of research before this trip. i wish i had. i left the ship knowing very few things about the city i was entering. i wish i had known more.i really only knew what my tour book and/or someone told me such as...naples (napoli to the locals) is where pizza was invented. our goal for this day was to eat pizza, a margherita pizza (sauce, cheese and a bay leaf) to be exact. and we did. and it was fantastic!

the people living in napoli are called neopolitans.i actually learned this fun fact after returning to the states. i wish i had known it while i was there, because i love it!

napoli is the home of mt. vesuvius and pompeii, the town that vesuvius buried in 79 AD. pompeii was accidentally rediscovered by a british guy in 1592.

some of my favorite memories from my time in napoli…

as we were wandering the streets we stumbled upon this mall. yes, you read that correctly, this is a mall.

in a corner of the mall we found this pastry shop, where we found cannoli's. a cannoli is a pastry filled with a mixture including ricotta cheese and they are wonderful!

i just love this picture...just a vender hangin' out with his stroller full of goodies. i think the colors are fantastic?

a cruise ship life for me...

2010-05-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

cruise ship life is the life for me. i loved almost every aspect of it. i loved the diversity of the crew. i loved the food…it was amazing! i loved that once you were on the ship you never had to spend another dime if you didn’t want to. and, i loved that you could be as busy or relaxed as you wanted to be. there was something going on every moment of every day and it was up to you to choose if you joined in or not.

every night there was a big production show. these shows generally consisted of singers, magicians, dancers, a comedian, etc. there were also lots of lounge singers and a variety of live music around the ship throughout the day. so, for a music lover like myself it was pure heaven. the very first show was “The Jersey Boys”, four boys singing the songs of Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons. and, they were fantastic!

i firmly believe, and this is only my opinion, that there is a proper and improper use of falsetto. in fact, as much as i have been and always will be a fan of new kids on the block…Jordan Night abuses the falsetto on a pretty regular basis. just because you CAN do it, doesn’t always mean that you should. with that said, the guy portraying Frankie Valli in this quartet has what i consider to be the most proper use of falsetto i’ve heard in a long time. in the middle of the performance Jessica leaned over to me and said, “his falsetto is SICK.” and, i agreed.

since we all have the right to our own opinions, i’ll let you decide for yourself…

here are some of the other happenings on the ship…
this was my home for 12 days...royal caribbean's navigator of the seas.
the village people showed up for disco inferno night and the policeman started a conga line.
as i said, the food was fantastic. this was a dessert sampler...amazing!
they really do make animals out of the towels they leave for you. and, if you leave your sunglasses laying around, sometimes they'll accessorize.

when in Rome...

2010-05-12T09:40:00.000-07:00

i just returned from the vacation of a lifetime. at least, that’s what one of my co-workers calls it and i’m of a mind to agree. i spent twelve days on a cruise ship, with three friends and about 4,000 other people, touring several ports in the mediterranean. i set out for the airport early the morning of the 22nd with two prayers…please, God don’t let eyjafjallajökull, the icelandic volcano, trap me at the JFK airport. and, please, let me find Jess easily in the rome airport. i learned something about myself that day while sitting and waiting for a connecting flight. i had secretly, somewhere in the back of my mind, been expecting something to keep me from this trip. i would double check my tickets, sure that i somehow had the date wrong or the wrong destination. surely i wasn’t really going to rome, italy to board a cruise ship. i somehow expected for someone along the way to say, “nope, not you Beckie. you don’t get to have experiences like this.” surreal, that’s the only way i can describe it.

and, it’s still surreal, even now, after the fact. i’ve been back home for about four days and it now feels slightly like a dream. if i didn’t have the pictures to prove it, i might think i wasn’t really there at all. i’m trying desperately to keep it fresh in my mind and to process what i’ve seen and experienced. it will probably come in patches and out of order, but i’m going to do my best to share my adventures, starting in rome…

three things i love about rome…one…gelato, which is much more than ice cream ever could be. my favorite was cappuccino, which somehow tasted like chocolate and caramel with the tiniest hint of caffe. it was like a creamy frappuccino that you eat with a spoon. i would buy it from the lady in the termini train station because it was the cheapest (2.60 euros for two scoops) and the best. although, it might have been the price that made it the best because i can’t say i had any bad gelato, just expensive.

and, two…the way italians say “Ciao Bella.” (translation: hello/goodbye beautiful). i firmly believe that every woman should have an italian man say this to her at some point in her life. in fact, if i could get a recording that i could play on repeat i would be in heaven. there’s a reason italian is referred to as the language of love…it’s beautiful.

three…the buildings. i have hundreds of pictures of random buildings. i can’t even tell you what they are, i just liked the look of them. maybe i missed my calling as an architect. i don’t know, but i loved looking at those buildings with their little green shutters. so, i chose a few of my favorites to share. some i’m sure will be very familiar…

the colosseum

part of the roman forum (next to the colosseum)

st.peter's basilica in vatican city

one of those cool buildings i was talking about

fontana di trevi (aka...the trevi fountain) and, of course i threw my coin in and made a wish along side the other tourists. fun fact...the coins in the fountain are collected every day to help feed rome's homeless.

rome has several bridges that cross the Tiber river. this one was my favorite...the statues along the side represent the stations of the cross. and, they're beautiful.

my own personal business...

2010-03-30T15:05:00.000-07:00

as i said in an earlier post , i am working on starting my own freelance design/etsy business. my family has been telling me for years that i should do this and for years i've come up with reasons and excuses as to why it's not a good idea. mostly just plain fear. well, enough excuses.

my first task, aside from the name that is, was to do research. see what else is out there, learn what i can from people who have gone before me. and, since i'm an avid reader...i hit the book store. what i found is this...

it has encouraged me, inspired me and scared me to death. ironically, the fears and excuses i've been telling my family for years...this book has completely squelched. which would be great except that it simultaneously has brought up so many more questions and anxieties like...business licenses, taxes, bookkeeping, marketing, etc. so many things that i have never even considered. the only thing keeping me moving forward on this endeavor is that this book explains how to do all of those things. it is the nuts and bolts of starting a "crafting" business.

so, i will keep you updated as this journey unfolds. it's exciting and a tiny bit scary, but...i'm ready for a little bit of risk.

smarter than a fifth grader?

2010-03-18T10:01:00.000-07:00

i've been volunteering once a week at the Boys and Girls Club of America for about two months. my experience so far has been really good and has proven that kids really do say the "darndest" things. and on weeks where i find it a challenge to go after a long day at work, i find that generally something happens to make me extremely thankful that i did. here is a little example of just that...

keagan: (singing) "i fell in to a burnin' ring of fire."
me: wow, johnny cash, impressive!
angelica: i just saw that movie about johnny cash, walk the line, i loved it!
dustin: (directed towards me) isn't there an ocean that is called the ring of fire?
me: um....
keagan: no, you're thinking of a ring of volcano's and the lava is the fire.
dustin: no, i'm pretty sure there is an ocean that is called the ring of fire because of the plates or fault line it sits on. (again directed at me, i guess assuming that as an adult i should have this information) is it the pacific?
me: i'm not sure. i really don't know
dustin: you don't know? c'mon, it's geography. (thus solidifying in my mind that he assumed as an adult that i should have this information).
me: dustin, what grade are you in?
dustin: 5th
me: well, i guess i'm not smarter than a 5th grader.
dustin: (after controlling his laughter and becoming very serious) maybe you should try to learn then.

yes, dustin, maybe i should try to learn. and, since google is my friend...

the pacific ring of fire (or sometimes just the ring of fire) is an area where large numbers of earthquakes and volcanic eruptions occur in the basin of a pacific ocean.

thanks to wikipedia, it has been proven that dustin, and kind of keagan as well, was right. and....i am in fact...not smarter than a 5th grader.

what's in a name...

2010-03-16T15:10:00.000-07:00

for years and years I’ve been trying to come up with a name for a freelance graphic design business. and frankly…i have commitment issues. i have no idea how people name their children…it’s so permanent. there is pressure and i feel it. i want it to be catchy, clever, maybe even witty. but, most of all i want it to instill confidence. i want it to say that i know what I’m doing.

recently i’ve considered going a different route and opening a shop on www.etsy.com, where I could sell other types of artwork as well. while looking into this i stumbled upon an article about choosing the perfect name for your shop. should it have my name in it? should it involve alliteration? and, i find myself with the same problem…commitment issues.

so, i’m going to do something i’ve considered doing for a while now…i’m going to ask for help. what do you think my design business/etsy shop should be called? any thoughts, ideas, strokes of genius...HELP!

gotta' get yourself connected...

2010-03-03T14:49:00.000-08:00

today i've been researching and preparing for a technology seminar i'm teaching next week. i have taught this seminar for the past three years at a conference for senior adults. somehow the word has spread and i've been asked to teach it at another conference. my seminar generally covers what's out there on the internet...social media, photo sharing sites, blogs, etc. every time i prepare to lead this class, it begins to seem so basic. i mean, i use these tools on a daily basis, and i quickly begin to lose sight of the fact that not everybody does. plus, i use these tools, but that doesn't make me an expert. so, i find myself questioning, in a typically self-deprecating fashion, why they've asked me to teach and if anyone will even come to my class.

then i read this quote that helped put it into the proper perspective..."whatever technology that's in front of us always challenges us, [for instance] our parents thought that we listened to the radio too much." (Jesse Rice, author of the church of facebook).

that's the truth, isn't it? it is always changing, there is always something new. and sometimes, that newness scares us. it also tends to divide generations. so my task, whether i choose to accept it or not, is to bridge that gap. and, to show my audience what's out there and how it can work for them. it seems a daunting task...wish me luck!

during my research i stumbled upon some videos that i thought were pretty fun and i thought i would share them...

this next one was presented to me as an idea for a new communication tool in my office. i personally thought it was a fabulous idea...

Auto Tuning from Casey Donahue on Vimeo.

this last one really doesn't pertain to my task, i just thought it was adorable. this little boy is an extremely talented ukelele player. any guesses on how old he is? performing "I'm yours" by Jason Mraz...

ran across an old box of letters...

2010-02-11T10:34:00.000-08:00

i keep everything. i'm extremely sentimental. this is not a surprise. i've always known this about myself. but, it's a fact that was proven as i sifted through three gift bags full of old letters. FYI...if you've ever sent me an invitation to your wedding and you need a copy for your scrapbook just let me know...i still have it.

i've kind of always thought of this as a negative thing...keeping everything. the term pack rat comes to mind and that always has a negative connotation. but, i'm not sure that it is bad, unless it gets to the point of having to wander through a maze of junk just to get to my kitchen. what i found as i looked through those bags is...life. my life. there were letters, birth announcements, wedding invitations, graduation announcements, notes of encouragement and much much more. of course, some of it was junk and i did throw things away. but, most of it was priceless. here's an example...

my bebo norman autographs...

i am a bebo fan! there was a time in my life where his was my music of choice. i love his folksy sound. i was even willing to look past the acrylic nails on his strumming hand and the fact that he spelled my name wrong because, well let's be honest, just look at him.

my postcard collection...

i'm not sure at what point i thought it would be a good idea to start a collection of postcards. it might not have even been a conscious decision. but, somehow, on some level, i think it's kind of romantic.

my cards from jess collection...

jess and i have a similar love for great cards. it's one of the many things that make us such great friends. looking through these cards made me realize that she did an amazing job of keeping in touch. there are birthday cards, valentine's cards, easter cards, and postcards. Some are store bought and some are homemade. i can only hope that i kept in touch half as well as she did.

the card standing up in the picture is one of my favorites. in case you can't read it, it says..."so, you will not go to omaha with paco? paco can show you many things, but paco will not beg." the inside says..."birthday or not, don't go with paco." it makes me chuckle every time!

the best birthday card in the world...
if you don't have a child in your life to send you amazing things, then i recommend you go out and find one. this homemade card and envelope are from my niece. i love it! my favorite part is this..."you may be getting older but your my aunt and your still beautiful." awww, priceless! she also says "i hope you like your card" several times. yes, cass, i love my card!

the best letter in the whole world...

again, if you don't have a child in your life to send you amazing things...well you know how i feel about that. this letter is from my nephew. i wish i knew how old he was at the time. it is adorable...

i have no idea what it was i helped him with or what a "starcraft" is. however, i do remember the necklace and still have it somewhere (of course). i remember that the beads were things like basketballs and soccer balls, real manly beads. and, as he said, it WAS a real nice necklace.

so, what i learned from this little trip down memory lane is...that it's not a bad thing to keep stuff (as long as it's in moderation). it reminded me that i have had, and still do have, some amazing people in my life. looking through those cards, i laughed, i cried and i remembered that i am loved. and, i think that is ALWAYS a good thing!

real men of genius...part three

2010-01-25T09:40:00.000-08:00

Justin Timberlake and Matt Morris...real men of genius!

old long since...

2010-01-11T15:04:00.001-08:00

have you ever wondered what the song auld lang syne (AKA the new years eve song) means? if you're anything like me, probably not. in fact, like me, you probably can't sing any of the song past "should old acquaintance be forgot." well, if you're reading this blog and you're dying to know...it translates to "old long since", it's the idea of casting off the old...looking toward the new. (if we thought hard enough we probably could have all figured that out, but what's the fun in that?)

and, as always, since the new year began there's the dreaded question...what's your resolution? i don't generally make resolutions. i'm sure the reasoning behind that has something to do with my lack of self discipline or something else equally as self deprecating, but i just don't usually make them. However, this year i did...by accident. it wasn't a conscious decision, it just happened. it really started happening last fall. i began to realize that i lead a very small life. not that i think my life isn't valuable, it is. i mean that my world, my social circle, how i spend my time, is very small. i began to see some areas where i was being asked to grow, to stretch myself out of my comfort zone, to take some risks (as long as those risks don't involve picking up hitch hikers, per my parent's request).

so, here is my inadvertent new year's resolution for 2010...to put myself out there more, broaden my scope, meet new people, impact lives and take some risks. here are three goals i gave myself that i believe will steer me in the right direction. 1) find, commit and get involved in a church home. 2)volunteer at a homeless shelter, soup kitchen and/or food bank (if you've never read "under the overpass" by mike yankoski i highly recommend it, it is life changing. 3) hang out with/mentor kids. so, there it is, out there for the world to see! this is how i want to actively change my life in the coming months.

resolution update...here it is january 11th and last week i began the process of becoming a volunteer with the boys and girls club of america. one goal down, two to go. i'm not telling you this to toot my own horn. i tell you this because i believe accountability is the key to success. i'm hoping that as the year progresses i will find other valuable ways to spend my time that i can share with everyone. right now, i'm just looking forward to hanging out with some kids!

speechless...

2010-01-06T11:47:00.000-08:00

lady gaga is crazy. last year i was at a concert and the opening act was this unknown artist...lady gaga. the performance was insane, and a little bit painful. a couple of months later, this "unknown" artist starts poppin' out singles left and right. i tried to not like her. i tried really hard. but, her songs are so catchy.

i stand behind my opening statement...lady gaga is crazy. but, she is also extremely talented and maybe a little bit of a genius. after all, her bizarre behavior has us all talking about her. whether we love her, hate her, or just don't know what to think about her, we talk about her.

you might question my sanity for calling her talented. but, i will leave this video to speak for itself...

no, lady gaga, you've left ME speechless!

flirtin' with disaster...

2009-12-17T14:10:00.000-08:00

i think that when disaster strikes we would like to be able to say that we respond well. we want to know just what to do, just what to say to make the situation better. unfortunately, i don't know that everyone can be ready for every situation at any moment. in most cases we're probably only prepared after the fact, for the "next time."

recently, due to cold temperatures, a pipe broke in the sprinkler system at my work. one minute i was enjoying lunch, the next i was wading through water trying to save whatever i could. i keep referring to it as a disaster, because in the little world that is my work place, it was disastrous. but, i don't know if it would be a disaster in the grand scheme of things. i don't know if there is a sliding scale that determines whether or not something is in fact, a disaster. maybe it has to do with numbers of lives lost or square miles destroyed. i mean, in comparison to say, hurricane katrina this was minute. and, luckily, the only casualties were leather dress shoes and electronic equipment.

what i have learned about myself through this experience is that i don't necessarily respond well. i found myself just standing, staring at the destruction, unable to move. because i realized that no matter what i was able to salvage, the devastation was far beyond anything i could comprehend. i stood watching water pour down a door, not unlike a waterfall, and i thought to myself (i may have even mumbled to someone nearby) "this is bad, this is very bad." and, it was bad. but, we will recover from it.

we will recover. we are in the process of recovering. and, after the fact, there are stories to tell...where were you when you heard the call for help? what was the first thing you saw? what did you do? and, on this side of disaster, you even poke fun...whose elaborate plan was this to get us new carpet? who was our of the office today, it was their fault. you recover and you go on with life.

real men of genius...part deux

2009-12-15T09:45:00.001-08:00

jimmy fallon does neil young singing the theme to fresh prince. jimmy fallon...genius.

love is a mix tape...

2009-11-25T10:34:00.000-08:00

"most mix tapes are CDs now, yet people still call them mix tapes. the technology changes, but the spirit is the same." - Rob Sheffield

i'm reading this book called "love is a mix tape." it's written by Rob Sheffield, a writer for rolling stone. it's the story of his life and loss told one song at a time.

i love mix tapes. i love everything about them. i believe it stems from my love of music and my passion for wanting everyone else to love music as much as i do. i like the idea of sharing with people the songs that mean something to me. songs that inspire me, challenge me, or just make me want to move. with the invention of the iPod and iTunes playlist, this obsession has only been perpetuated. this technology allows me to make a mix tape for any occasion...a workout mix, road trip mix, pity party mix, dance mix, and the list could go on and on.

these playlists can transport you to another place and time. after all, you can say a lot with a mix tape. just recently i was listening to a mix that my cousin Jessica and i made a couple of years ago. we spent weeks or maybe months making lists of the perfect songs. we wanted it to be just right. we wanted it to be fun, to inspire, to encourage. we titled it...girl power. as i listened to this mix it reminded me of that time, when Jessica (who now lives in another country) and i lived together. we spent a lot of time listening to music, discussing music and singing music. this mix will always have a special place in my heart.

...Girl Power
disclaimer...that last song is not so much about girl power...it's just stinking hilarious!

country roads take me home to the place i belong...

2009-09-14T11:25:00.000-07:00

i am not a spontaneous person. i'm sure this admission does not come as a shock to any of you. i'm actually the exact opposite of spontaneous, i'm a planner. i think long and hard before i act. so long, in fact, that action becomes extremely difficult. yes, i over think things. there have been a few times, however, when i act on things so quickly that it is seemingly uncharacteristic of me. it leaves those around me surprised when they hear of my spontaneous decision. these moments can be counted on one hand. these moments are also considered, by me, to be acts of God.

i believe them to be acts of God because they ARE so far from my comfort zone. and in retrospect, they tend to be a positive experience and, on most occasions, what my life needed at that exact moment.

the most recent of these experiences was a road trip with a good friend across the country. my friend needed someone to help her drive to Kentucky and when i found out, i immediately said i would do it. the decision was made on thursday and we left on tuesday. this left me four days to make arrangements at work, find a plane ticket home, and pack. every detail fell into place perfectly and we set out on our adventure. i spent three days in a car with my friend Kim, talking about life, singing along to random music, and enjoying the scenery one can only find in middle America. Oh, also, committing near nascar maneuvers in order to capture memorable photos. here are some highlights from the trip...

is this sign really necessary? i mean really, state of oregon, how dangerous could the dust really be. and, if it is so dangerous that we need to be warned, then shouldn't the sign read...warning: SEVERE dust blowing area next 40 miles.

this sign cracked me up. not only was Butch Cassidy imprisoned here, but they also sell brooms! question...who is going to go to the wyoming territorial prison to buy a broom? i mean is this just a happy coincidence? are you just sight seeing and then, "oh, honey, imagine our luck! we were in need of a broom!" i mean, are they special brooms? is wal-mart not available?

a detour for gas in the middle of nowhere led us to stumble upon this statue of Jim Bridger. Jim is apparently famous for roaming around the state of wyoming telling tall tales. if this is all it takes to make a person famous, than my cousin Jessica deserves a statue because i remember a time when she told a bunch of tall tales about the state of washington to some visiting friends!

i call this picture...wheat field Jesus. observation...a wheat field is not that tall, therefore Jesus would need to be reclined for this to be accurate. well done Burlington, Colorado! i'm sure you're leading thousands to Jesus with this billboard!

you cannot get much more small town America than this!

my part of the road trip stopped in Kansas City, where I spent the weekend with some great friends that I hadn't seen in a long time.

overall, it was a great trip. and, like many other of my God ordained spontaneous moments, it was just what my life needed at that moment...a little shaking up.

i'm just a girl in the world...

2009-07-20T11:00:00.000-07:00

setting...white river amphitheater. scenery...mt rainier. sounds...three amazing rock bands led vocally by three (well maybe just two) strong and amazing women.
i love concerts. there is something about the feel, the vibe, and the people watching opportunities that makes me really happy. sunday night i had the chance to see no doubt and paramore, opened by a swedish band called the sounds. it was an amazing show. we danced, we jumped around and we sang our hearts out.
when the sounds started off the show my first imression was...alright, they're pretty good, i think i like it. this was quickly followed by my second impression...did that woman just flash her panties at the audience? yes, i believe she, wait is she making out with the keyboard player? yes, yes, whoa she really needs to keep her dress down. I think she, why yes she is, she's swearing at us? So, my message to the lead singer of the the sounds..."your music is actually really good, but unfortunately i left your show with the memory of your performance etched in my mind, and not in a good way. please don't belittle your music and women everywhere by continuing to act this way."
i had hope that paramore would redeem this rock show and i knew that i would not be let down. they were fantastic! my favorite part of their performance...cute, little, twenty year old, hayley williams telling the band to stop and pointing out into the mosh pit. we all, for a brief moment thought it was staged until she proceeded with the following..."what's going on down there? we got beef in the pit? come on, we're all here for one reason, to hear great music, so grow up! you want to fight, there is plenty of room in the parking lot, the rest of us are going to enjoy some music." and, the band continued playing to uproarious applause from the crowd. all i can say...i so love her! another highlight from paramore...the guitar player doing a back flip over the bass player, while continuing to play his guitar. what?
that brings us to the final act of the night. while i've always considered myself a fan of gwen stefani and no doubt, i must admit that i went to this show primarily to see paramore. i was amazed how much i really enjoyed no doubt's performance. as i said, i danced, i sang, and i jumped around. it was a really fun time! i think gwen is fantastic! at forty something, after having two kids (although i'm not convinced that she gave birth to the children herself...see pictures below), she not only looks phenomenal but she dances, jumps around, and manages to sing while still sounding good. Amazing!

it was a great evening including dinner at el camino's mexican restaurant in downtown enumclaw, a very high priced coca cola, freebies including bedazzled earbuds and a harry potter hat (for knowing one of gwen's children's names...thank you useless knowledge of pop culture trivia), and one fantastic rock show. well worth the money spent and the lack of sleep for a great experience!

real men of genius...

2009-07-13T16:06:00.000-07:00

i stumbled upon this video of chris daughtry performing lady gaga's "poker face." i believe this version is better than the original. chris daughtry...genius!

little bit country, little bit rock n' roll

2009-07-08T12:01:00.000-07:00

i refer to myself this way sometimes..."little bit country, little bit rock n' roll." there are two reasons for this, well maybe there are more, but for this blogs purposes there are two. reason number one is probably the most obvious...i was born and raised in the country, in a small town, on a farm with cows and horses. but now i live in the city with all its pavement, traffic and noise. i like to think that i can blend in either location...small town USA or downtown big city. i'm definitely comfortable in either and there are things i love about both. small town life has its charm, its easy laid back attitude, and familiarity. while there is the exciting hustle and bustle, always changing atmosphere, diversity of the city.

reason number two is probably a little more subtle unless you are around me on a daily basis. it refers directly to my taste in music, which changes daily, sometimes hourly. i can go from linkin park to the black eyed peas to rascal flatts all in the same play list. i think the lyrics of the donny and marie song actually explain it best..."i like that peaceful easy feeling of a laid back country song. and when i sing my rock n' roll, i can sing it all night long. i love my country with all my heart and soul. i go out on saturday night for a little bit of rock n' roll." i often say that i don't really discriminate when it comes to musical genres. a point which i would say has been proven by the fact that i just quoted donny and marie.

i was asked recently which side i lean more towards, country or rock n' roll? i don't think this person meant in the musical preferences realm, i think they meant in life. and, as i said before, i would like to think that i'm a mix of the two. however, with that said, if i had to choose, i would probably say country. while i enjoy city life and all that it has to offer...the country is my roots. there are days where i miss it and i go for a drive, until the city lights are behind me and there are trees and rolling green pastures all around me. because, ultimately, whether i want to admit it or not...i'm a country girl at heart. and, as brooks and dunn say, "you can take a girl out of the honky tonk, but you can't take the honky tonk out of the girl."

i'll leave you with a few pictures from the 4th of July, spent at the molalla little buckeroo's rodeo. you can't get much more country than this...

life's a dance, you learn as you go...

2009-05-21T15:41:00.000-07:00

webster’s dictionary defines “experience” as “the conscious events that make up an individual life. something personally encountered, undergone, or lived through. the act or process of directly perceiving events or reality. knowledge gained by actually doing or living through something.” i’m not sure when it happened, when i began to realize that life is made up of little experiences. but, i firmly believe this and actively seek out opportunities to experience something new.

these past few months have been very busy…filled with all kinds of new experiences.

1) in mid-april my boss asked if i would like to attend a conference in Nashville, Tennessee. i said yes immediately. 1) i love to travel. 2) i love country music. 3) why would i say no?

the conference was for writers, graphic designers, photographers, public relations, marketing…anyone who worked in the communications department for Baptist organizations.

two things i learned…
1) i love Nashville! my friend Amber (aka…tour guide barbie) showed me all of the hot spots and must sees.
2) all over this country there are graphic designers, photographers, writers, etc. that are just like me. it was great to meet a network of people that i can relate to.

this is a quote from one of these new friends…(as we were pulling up to a very sketchy looking bowling alley). “ladies, i predict that ya’ll are gonna get hit on tonight. there is a mountain man in there right now just lookin’ for a new wife.” (imagine this is said with a very thick southern accent).

2) shortly after returning from nashville i went to see broadway’s production of grease in downtown portland. i had no idea how much i would enjoy musical theater.

FYI…Taylor Hicks is less annoying in a broadway play than an entire season of American idol, which i think says a lot. that was until he pulled out his harmonica. a harmonica in grease…please

3) in the first part of may i traveled home for mother’s day, which also coincides with zillah community days. this brought with it my first experience running a 5K. it's something that i've wanted to do for a while now, but hadn't had the opportunity.

4) this past week found me travelling once again for work, this time to seaside oregon. with the busy schedule of the past two months travelling, house sitting, and a youth conference, it felt like really bad timing and i was not looking forward to the trip. however, my sister put it in the proper prospective when she said, “beckie, the worst thing you have to complain about is that you have to spend three days at the beach, really?”

once i saw the view from my hotel room, Christi’s perspective was reinforced. i mean, how can you really complain about this?

it IS a mad, mad world

2009-05-21T15:17:00.000-07:00

i have refrained from blogging about my pick for American Idol this season. i found that people felt the need to convince me that i am insane. yes people, i am an Adam Lambert fan. i realize that while part of the world might not be ready for this type of artist, i am. because have you heard him sing? HE CAN SANG! no, i did not spell that wrong. i feel that "sang" is the only way to describe what he does.

i know that this is all pointless because last night america voted and Adam didn't win. and, believe it or not, i'm not heartbroken. i actually think that it will work out better for both of them this way. i agree with the following statement...
"I will just take solace in the fact that a) Adam Lambert will get a record deal anyway; b) not winning may allow Adam to have more creative control over his debut album, and thus he'll release more genuinely freak-flag-flying material; c) Adam won't have to release that insipid "No Boundaries" as his first single"

this is actually one of my favorite moments of the night...

i'm actually quite proud of cute little Kris Allen, who is also extremely talented. he became one of my favorites throughout the show and several times i was blown away by his performances. i'm also proud of Adam being so gracious as Kris won. i will be first in line to buy his album.

take a look...in a book...

2009-04-09T14:45:00.001-07:00

i love to read! when i was a child i used to walk down to the library, check out some books, and start reading one while walking home. this is why it came as no surprise that i loved Powell's Books from the first moment i stepped through the doors. well, maybe "from the second moment" would be more accurate as the first moment was spent standing in an overwhelmed stupor as i took in the enormity of it all. Powell's Books is the largest independent used and new bookstore in the world. and, it is heaven on earth for this reader.

the great thing about Powell's is that it combines two of my loves...books and a great deal! i went in with a list of specific titles that i need for my book club. once i used the kiosk to locate every item on my list...i wandered from the blue room, through the gold room, onto the red room, gathering my books and taking it all in. it was definitely an experience. i could easily see myself spending hours in there. i ended up getting all of my book club books, plus two more, at a great price because they were all used. it was FABULOUS!

here are my purchases. who knew that "the princess bride" was science fiction? maybe that seem like common knowledge to most people, but it was news to me.

flippin' your fins...

2009-02-20T13:39:00.000-08:00

i've been thinking about discipline lately. frankly, it's not something that i'm very good at...making myself do something that is difficult or that i don't want to do. i was reminded of this, once again, this past weekend as i watched my niece's swim meet. i was amazed as i watched these children, ages 6-14, swim for hours, not because they HAD to but because they wanted to. because they enjoy what they do and they want to be better at their sport.

here are some pictures and stories from the weekend...

each swimmer writes their event #, heat #, lane # and stroke on their leg or arm. this is so they keep track of where they should be, when they should be there and what they're doing when they get there.

Christi and Megan painted Cassadie's fingernails and toes alternating purple and green to match their team colors. Megan is a hilarious little girl. At one point I asked both girls what they think about when they're swimming. Cassadie said, "nothing, I just count my strokes." Megan said, "Chocolate cake! Oh, and pizza!"

warm-ups were my favorite part to watch. hundreds of little kids all in the pool at one time. sometimes they would be swimming three wide in a lane and i was amazed that no one ever got hurt. apparently it's organized chaos and they all know what they're supposed to be doing.

this is my favorite picture because of the smile on her face. she was obviously proud of herself and the race she had just completed.

at dinner the girls named Cassadie's calzone Patrick after a kid on their swim team that has blazing red hair. this got a little awkward when we opened the fridge the leftovers were in and found that it hadn't been on all night. Cassadie's response..."Patrick died."

i could probably go on with stories about poo in the warm up pool, kids who could barely swim trying to swim 4 laps, or waking up with socks on pillows. but, i will leave you with my favorite quote from some random girl that had just struggled through her 100 yard freestyle race..."i have two questions...did i make it? and, can you help me out of the pool?"

harnessing the wind

2009-02-17T11:41:00.000-08:00

there are wind farms covering the hills of the columbia river gorge. you can see hundreds, maybe thousands of them off in the distance. i know that these wind turbines serve a good purpose...but i find them extremely creepy. i'm not sure what it is about them.

maybe it's their enormous size (they look small from a distance, but up close they are positively huge).

maybe it's the fact that you may only see one or two of them peeking over the edge, but lurking over that hill there are hundreds more. like i said, i'm not exactly sure why i find them creepy. they remind me of something out of a science fiction movie. like at any minute they're going to come to life, not unlike a transformer, and take over the world.

fast cars and freedom...

2009-01-13T11:48:00.000-08:00

i learned something about myself recently. well, i've actually always known it to be true, but could never put a name to the behavior. it's something that lies dormant most of the time, not letting others in on the secret, but every once in a while it makes itself known. you see...i am an "autophile", or a car enthusiast. i know that this is probably pretty rare for a girl, but i love cars, everything having to do with cars. i credit this to my father, because whether he realizes it or not, i would consider him to be an autophile as well. he is always pointing out cars on the road, classic cars...thunderbird, barracuda, ford fairlane. he can tell you the make, model and year. and, while i can't claim this same prowess (i'm pretty good with makes and models, but years not so much) i find myself noticing cars and sometimes pointing them out, generally to people who could care less.

i was asked a while back..."if money were no object and you could have any car, what would it be?" easy...1967 Shelby Mustang...you might recognize her as "Eleanor" from the movie Gone in 60 seconds (consequently the only nicholas cage movie i can sit through, and that's only because of the cars).

what brought on this sudden realization? about a week ago, i was driving with my sister and we passed a car lot. out of the corner of my eye, i saw it, as if there were a light shining on it. i didn't know what it was at first. all i knew was that it was BEAUTIFUL! after some research i found it...the new Dodge Challenger (when i was buying a new car last year, had i known that this existed, the outcome might have been different).

something in my response to this car triggered my revelation.

so, you might ask...what does an avid car enthusiast drive? if i were the kind of autophile that could actually work on cars, i might drive my 1960's mustang. but, since i'm not, and the new mustang seems slightly impractical, this is what i drive...

a 2007 Nissan Murano (the deciding factor...the salesman opened the hood and i saw this beautiful, clean, V6 engine and then i started her up and she rumbled to life...SOLD!) but, i firmly believe that someday, when love wins out over practicality i will drive my mustang. someday!

this one's for the children...

2008-12-11T13:44:00.000-08:00

letters to santa claus from children all over northern california, delivered to the oakland, california post office:

dear santa,
i am 9 years old and all my friends say there is no santa claus or tooth fairy. i don't know because last year i asked for a PSP and i didn't get it. i didn't get any tooth fairy money either for my last five teeth. i have teeth but no money! i don't know!

dear santa,
i write you this letter because i want to ask you if with your magic you could make me smarter. i will be expecting your letter in a while.

dear santa,
i like Diego. i wish he would kiss me. please, santa, make Diego kiss me. just talk to him and i will be happy because if you talk to him he will merry me.

merry christmas santa. let's talk presents. i was wondering if i could have a Wii or a gameboy. or both. i don't want to push it. and how is dear mrs. claus? have you ever taken her on a date? alone? with no elves?

dear santa,
i've been naughty and such, but i do hope i'm on the nice list. i'm not trying to be modest and hope to be on the nice list. it's entirely up to you. i love you.

dear santa,
all i really want for christmas is an american girl named Kit. and for peace in the world. i really like your hat.
p.s. we should have lunch

all i want for christmas...

2008-12-09T15:49:00.000-08:00

sometimes in life there are decisions you have to make. you know the right choice, the choice that circumstances may require, yet you long for the other option. this past week i was faced with such a decision...real tree or fake?

i admit to having prejudices towards fake christmas trees. there is just something about the smell and LOOK of a real tree. there is also something to be said for choosing your tree, bringing it home, and decorating it. it's the experience. however, there are definite advantages to a fake tree...you can move the limbs wherever you want them to be, they are more balanced and therefore don't tip over, and you can put the tree topper on before you actually put the tree together (saving yourself from teetering precariously on a stool and pulling a muscle while stretching because you're still not quite tall enough). so, these were the factors weighing my decision...real vs. fake.

until this year, i thought i would never have a fake tree...as i said, prejudices. but, circumstances were pointing to this being the wiser decision. and, after much thought and several discussions, it was decided...a fake tree it is. the decision was made, the tree purchased, put together and decorated (including the "blood star" on top...yes, we realize that it's tacky and often discuss how to best distract from its tackiness, but it now has sentimental value).

i can honestly say that i'm content with this choice and actually think it turned out pretty cute. here is the finished product...

b-e-a-utiful...

2008-12-04T11:44:00.000-08:00

i've had my moments...

2008-11-24T11:33:00.000-08:00

there are these moments in life. moments where, maybe something big has happened to you. moments of sweet joy that you hope you will remember forever. moments where you want to stop and look around, memorizing every detail. do you know the kind i'm talking about? well, i had one of these moments. while it wasn't of the life altering variety, like a wedding day, or birth of a child, it was a moment of pure joy. and, it involved 5 boys from Boston, yes, New Kids on the Block.

when i was young i was a huge fan of the New Kids, not unlike every other girl my age. i had their posters on my wall, their faces on my school books, and a giant button depicting my favorite...Joey. i dedicated countless hours to learning details about their lives, to say the least i was slightly obsessed. and, i always dreamed of seeing them in concert, but never got the chance, until now. i didn't realize until i was sitting in my seat, that it had been 18 years. that fact didn't make me feel old, as it should have, it made me really excited, giddy in fact. when those boys, now men, came on stage i transformed back into that 13 year old girl, along with every other woman in that room.

now, for those of you who know me, you know that i'm pretty laid back. i don't get overly excited, i don't yell or scream, i don't lift my hands or even clap when i sing. well, you would not have recognized me, because i screamed to the point of losing my voice. i clapped, i sang at the top of my lungs, i waved my arms back and forth, and yes, i danced. like i said...13 year old girl.

the "moment" came during the second encore...hangin' tough. of course the crowd was singing along, because no amount of time could erase those lyrics from our minds. i looked around and saw thousands of people waving their arm, just like we saw the boys do thousands of times, singing "oh oh oh oh oh, hangin' tough." I realized that the dream of my 13 year old self had come true...i got to see NKOTB in concert. i had waited 18 years to hear Donnie tell me to throw my hands in the air and wave em' like i just don'e care. and in that moment, there was a complete sense of happiness, joy and familiarity.

i had been nervous for the boys. i mean, they're not really boys anymore, they're men with wives and children. they're in their late 30's, dancing around like they did when they were teenagers. i was worried that it wouldn't translate, that it would be awkward, and i desperately wanted them to succeed. they did an amazing job! in fact, i found myself thankful that i was seeing them now, as an adult, when i could appreciate it, appreciate the talent and hard work. it was a great show!

how fun are these humpbacks?

2008-10-27T14:36:00.000-07:00

this question was asked of me by a child, who i can only guess suffers from ADHD, as he ran around the deck of a boat on a recent whale watching tour. a friend and i drove up to anacortes washington (north of seattle about an hour from the us/canadian border) hoping for two things...good weather and a whale sighting. here are pictures of the trip....

our home for the day...Island Explorer 3

we got wish number one...beautiful day! you really can't beat weather like this at the end of october...it was amazing!

we saw lots and lots of birds, but these two bald eagles were by far the most spectacular. Kate, our naturalist, told us that this was a male and female and that eagles mate for life, so...these are lifelong mates.

at one point some porpoises came to play. they followed the boat for awhile, swimming along and then playing in the wake.

how fun ARE these humpbacks? we got our second wish...whale sighting. not one, but two humpback whales.

here is proof that i was actually on the boat. it got pretty cold on the water, especially when the sun went behind the clouds.

this picture was taken in the marina. i thought it was pretty cool with the reflection in the water.

this is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned upside down...

2008-10-14T10:31:00.000-07:00

in a post on july 17, 2007 i talked about a trip i took to clovis california for world changers. i was a last minute chaperone and had never met most of the 30 people that went with us. now, over a year later, those people have become a huge part of my life.

in this past year i have been working alongside a team of 17 adult leaders who minister to the students at Greater Gresham Baptist Church. this past weekend 16 of us went to Madras, Oregon to hang out, get to know one another better, and talk about how we can more effectively reach those students.

here is a picture of us at the Cove Palisades, at about 7:15 in the morning, where we watched an amazing sunrise. it was freezing cold, but well worth it.

Back Row (left to right): Jordan, Nicole, Me, Lance, and Brian.
Front Row (left to right): Tim, Jeremy, Megan, Sheila, Abi, Crystal, Nicci, Sara, Ken, and Wendy.

do you read like a girl?

2008-10-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

call me a nerd, but i'm so excited because this week i went to my first meeting of the "read like a girl" book club. it's a group of about 10 girls, some i knew previously some i did not, who love to read. we'll get together once a month and discuss the book we unanimously chose to read. a book club is one of those things that i never knew i always wanted to do, if that makes any sense.

WWBGD....what would Bear Grylls do?

2008-09-09T11:26:00.000-07:00

my cousin Jessica and i were having a random discussion on Bear Grylls, you know "man vs. wild?" i find myself intrigued by him, while Jess refers to him as just "plum crazy." shortly after our discussion on his eating yak eyeballs and turning his pants into a life vest, i ran across his website and blog. i learned some things that i thought were interesting and worthy of sharing. here are a few quotes from the man himself...

"i always feel like i have done it since i was 4, just without the cameras. i hope to keep living this life but maybe with less mosquitos and danger."

"my dad always said 'be the most enthusiastic person you know!'"

"i was christened Eddie, that became Teddy, and that became Bear! not very butch but there you go! i used to find it a bit awkward as a kid but it could have been worse, and since then it has stuck, from seargant-majors in the army to bank managers, i have ever since been 'Bear.'"

"i depend on a few simple verses everyday that have held me thro so many touch times. they are a mix of these: 'i am here to help you,' 'i am holding you by your right hand,' 'the Lord himself watches over you.' that's it for me in a nutshell."

"i always loved being filthy dirty, covered in mud and climbing things. the army seemed a good route to achieve this."

when asked...how do you feel right after you finish filming a man vs. wild episode?
"whacked!"

this is a clip of his blog. one of his upcoming locations looked familiar...it's in the yellow box in the picture...OREGON.

another from Bear..."this quote has always summed up the way i try to live my life...enjoy!"

'life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, covered in scars, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming 'yahoo!', what a ride.'

i would say that about sums it up! and yes, Jess, i would say he might just be "plum crazy."

if it makes you happy...

2008-08-28T14:04:00.000-07:00

here are a few things i've heard recently that have made me laugh...

1. "i'm a midget, and i know my rights." - person standing on chair illegally at Tim McGraw concert.

2. "i tried out for the choir, they put me in charge of sheet music." - my friend Lisa.

3. "if i spell Chesney wrong, will i still get paid?" - deputy sheriff at Kenny Chesney concert.

4. this next one is a conversation between me and a lady at my new apartment complex.
little old lady: honey, what is that down there in the road, i can't quite make it out.
me: well, it's a rooster.
little old lady: where do you suppose that came from?
me: i have no idea
little old lady: well, there are some crazy people living here, maybe one of them has a pet rooster and it got out.

this is an actual picture of the resident rooster. luckily we've only heard it crow once, other than that it's pretty quiet.

5. finally...

it only took two years, but they finally act like they like each other.

two musicians, a barracuda, and the buzz = one cheap date

2008-08-21T15:32:00.000-07:00

a radio station in the portland metro area, called the buzz, sponsors these events called cheap dates. they line up musicians to come and perform to a small group of people. all you have to do to be a part of this elite group is...become a buzz freeloader, get online when the dj tells you to, print off your ticket, and you and a guest are in...for free.

last week was the second of these events. the musicians were Ryan Cabrera and Charlotte Sometimes, the location was barracuda's, and due to Ang's freeloader status, we were in. the venue was small and intimate, and any seat in the house was a great seat (although, there weren't actually any seats).

i had forgotten how much i liked Ryan Cabrera back in the day. i remember him looking more like a frat boy than the "emo" boy before us now, but he had some great hits! if often felt as if we were just sitting in someones living room with about 100 of our closest friends listening to him strum his guitar. i love live music and he didn't disappoint.

i admit that i had no idea who Charlotte Sometimes was going into this. but, going in with little expectations, i was pleasantly surprised. in fact, i really like her a lot. she has a great sound and an amazing voice.

a two week addiction...

2008-08-16T14:36:00.000-07:00

i love the summer olympics and i always have! the summer games have some of my favorite events...gymnastics, swimming, diving, track & field. i admit that i have become a little bit obsessed. i even admit that i have completely bought into "Phelpsmania." i remember what he did in Athens. i vividly remember the VISA commercial that showed him swimming from New York to Greece, so i am excited to see hiim doing so well in these games. and, yes, i'm fairly sure that i was standing on my couch last night yelling "go michael" as he won his seventh gold medal by such a slim margin.

in an interview with michael phelps before the games began, he was asked what he was most looking forward to in Beijing. his response..."standing on the blocks in the stars and stripes. to be an american up there representing your country with all of their support on your shoulders...it's an amazing feeling." i can't judge his honesty in that statement but i liked his response. today as i watched the weight of the world rest on the shoulders of an 18 year old cyclist from colorado, i thought...it's odd how i feel this connection to this kid that i've never met and most likely never will meet simply because we're both americans. i don't know anything about him, or if he deserves to win, but i want him to just the same. i'm sure that my response to him had nothing to do with the sad story about his father's fight with parkinsons right before his race. but, there are countless athletes that i feel this same connection to...dara torres, ryan lochte, nastia luikin, and shawn johnson. that list could go on and on.

it's just that sometimes i feel like it takes something devastating to unite us as americans, so i appreciate that the olympics, something positive provides a sense of unity. i know that there are people who are tired of all the michael phelps hype, but i am not one of them. it's really an amazing thing that he has done, with seemingly little effort. i think maybe the USA needed a little positive attention for a minute, and he brought that.

i feel the need to mention the olympic events that i haven't been able to get behind...trampoline, badmitton, and synchronized diving. my question...why don't they have olympic surfing. if they do and i'm just not aware of it...please somebody make me aware.

workin' for the man every night and day...

2008-08-07T11:23:00.000-07:00

today as i arrived at work, began my morning routine, said hello to people as i passed them in the hall...i felt extremely blessed. i've been in this job for almost three years, which blows my mind sometimes. i know that three years is not all that long in the grand scheme of things, especially when you're working with people who are starting their thirtieth year. but for me...three years is a long time. there are days when i don't want to come to work, and today would be one of those days, but as i visited with my co-workers this feeling of gratitude came over me. i am so blessed to be in a job that i love, most days, and to work alongside people who i can call friends (a fact proven by a recent move when they showed up to hall my boxes). blessed to work in a community of believers that are striving to help others grow and change. just blessed.

i'm thankful that, today...a crazy day amidst a crazy week...God decided to show me the wonderful things about my job, which far outweigh the frustrating things.

this picture is just a portion of my co-workers. they are truly great people to work with. if you want a small glimpse into what i do...the woman on the left (red/white striped shirt) and the tall older man in the back (hawaian yellow/blue shirt) were not originally in the photo. my task was to photoshop them in. i admit that it was a pretty quick patch job, so if you can see flaws...please don't point them out!

'cause it's a bittersweet symphony, this life....

2008-07-16T11:01:00.000-07:00

a couple of days ago a friend of mine's status on facebook said..."i'm thankful that good friends are still good friends." or something to that affect. there is something about a good friendship...one where you can go months or even years without talking, but when you're together again, you just pick up where you left off. i am so thankful for these kinds of friendships.

this past month has been filled with the bittersweet. from vacationing with good friends overlapped with the loss of a loved one, to a going away party for my best friend. i have had to think a lot about friends and how important they are in my life. as i get older i realize more and more my need to be surrounded by people who know me, really know me and love me anyway. it's such a comforting feeling to sit in a room with a dear friend and know that you don't even have to talk, you can just be.

meeting up, in san diego, with some great friends that i hadn't seen in over a year was a time of sweet fellowship and bitter loss. what began as a fun week of hanging out and catching up came to a crashing halt as we lost an AMAZING father...husband...friend to a fight with cancer. though sometimes i question God's timing and plan...i have to giggle when i imagine Leon worshipping his Father any way he wants to without the little old biddy's telling him how it should be done. and even amidst this heartbreaking loss...i felt blessed to be among people who truly know me and the comfort that it brings.

following that emotional roller coaster, i celebrated with friends and family as we sent my cousin Jessica out on her new adventure. as i'm writing this...she is spending her first day in her new home...south asia. she has said "yes" and given her life for something far greater than i can imagine. i'm so proud of her and i'm thankful that ours is a friendship that won't be gone in an "mmmbop" (see post from may 30th). Jess and i have said "goodbye" several times over the years, but we have been blessed to have lived in the same town, in the same house for the past three. ours is a friendship that picks up where it left off and i look forward to the time when our paths cross again...Thailand maybe!

there have been sweet moments of quality time overshadowed by grief. this has left me feeling emotionally spent and tired. so, i am choosing to remember and to reflect on the fond memories, rather than the sad and dreary.

Gerri and i at seaport village in san diego, california

me, Rachel and Beth

the girls might kill me for posting this picture...(left to right) Jessica, Mandy, Ang, Christi, and me. if you remember the show kids incorporated...this was our interpretation.

Ang, me and Jess last christmas!

it's a rainbow of fruit flavors....this picture was taken at Jess' party (the thrillah' in Zillah). i didn't make into the rainbow because i was wearing black that day.

that's one doodle that can't be undid, homeskillet

2008-06-24T13:36:00.000-07:00

i doodle. i know that's not some earth shattering confession. but, i bet that more people doodle then are willing to let on. because somewhere along the way, i feel like doodling became childish or something you do when you're bored, or even a sign of disprespect. recently, at a meeting, someone noticed my "artwork" and commented on it. for me, it has nothing to do with being bored, actually it's the opposite. i doodle to stay focused. for us creative types, sometimes it helps to see things in color, or pictures, at least that is the case for me. and most of the time, not always, the pictures directly pertain to what is being discussed.

while venting to a co-worker, and fellow creative type, she mentioned a pastor who tried something different in his congregation, specifically related to doodling. here is an excerpt...

"recently, as people entered the sanctuary on sunday mornings, we gave them small pieces of colored paper - some textured, some not - with a crayon or a colored pencil or a felt pen. for five weeks we gave them permission to doodle as i preached - much like the first disciples mended their nets as Jesus preached. then we asked them to hand the paper back as they exited.

each week, three artists scrunched, folded, and wove the pieces of paper together. they mounted the pieces on a hopscotch of painted canvases and hung them on the sanctuary wall. as the weeks went by, the little scraps of individual paper grew into a breathtaking mosaic that eventually covered two walls of the sanctuary. each week, before and after the services, more and more people stood beneath it, delighted, surprised, and amazed."

i applaud this pastor for being willing to try something outside the box. my question...why are more churches not willing to try something new. and, why can't doodling be about self-expression, or even an act of worship. needless to say, this inspired me. here is a small collage of my own doodling from the meeting i mentioned...

the songs in my head...

2008-06-20T09:56:00.000-07:00

for those of you faithful readers who are often telling me you want more updates, i have a couple that i'm working on. but, while i'm busy perfecting those i thought i would share something else with you. i often talk about music and i'm sure that by now you know how i feel about it. so, what i'm about to share should come as no surprise. i encourage you to read the following lyrics. i imagine that we all feel this way from time to time...like a prodigal trying to find his way home.

"prodigal" - by One Republic

we say good-bye, i turn my back
run away, run away
so predictable
not far from here, you see me crack
like a bone, like a bone
i'm so breakable

and i take everything from you
but you'll take anything, won't you?

run away, run away, like a prodigal
don't you wait for me
don't you wait for me
so ashamed, so ashamed, but i need you so
and you wait for me and you wait for me

i'm on the road to who knows where?
look ahead, not behind, i keep saying
there's no place to go
where you're not there
on your rope, i hold tight, but it's freeing

everybody wants to be right
but only if it's not day light?
i keep trying to find my way back, my way back

run away, run away, like a prodigal
don't you wait for me
don't you wait for me
so ashamed, so ashamed, but i need you so
and you wait for me and you wait for me

bright lights...big city...

2008-06-18T08:56:00.000-07:00

"that's very urban of you," this was my sister's response when i told her what i was doing on friday night. i think my exact words were..."we're going to Forest Grove to see this random band that we saw on a flyer at McMenamins." i guess it is very urban, to drive 50 minutes to see a band that may or may not be any good. but, we're always making an effor to try new things and to take advantage of all that this area has to offer.

the location was great. first of all, Forest Grove is out in the middle of nowhere. it's true country right outside the city, complete with big ol' pickup trucks. the concert was in the garden cafe of one of the McMenamin hotels, call The Grand Lodge.

this place was built in 1922 as a masonic & eastern star home and has now been turned into a hotel. it was fun to sit and listen to music, eat good food, and people watch.

and, as it turns out, the band, Bombadil, was good. the flyer described the four guys from north carolina like this..."Bombadil incorporates international instruments and styles with its background in Piedmont blues and psychedelic rock, generating everything from straightforward rock to Bolivian waltzes; from heartbreaking, piano-drive laments on loss of life to swashbuckling, raucus marches." now, with a description like that how can you not be intrigued?

they had some great songs and played several different instruments. at one point two of the guys were laying on the ground playing guitar, while the keyboardist sat under the keyboard and played backwards. very impressive and entertaining. overall, the experience was totally worth the drive. although, it was pretty chilly out there...somebody should tell the weather that it's summer...bring out the sun!

goin' to the country, gonna eat a lot of peaches...

2008-06-16T11:07:00.000-07:00

last weekend i went home to celebrate my mom's birthday with the family! today is her actual birthday...Happy Birthday Mom! on this visit to my hometown, one thing became clear to me...the longer i live in the city, the more i "see" the country. things that have always been there, that i've taken for granted, suddenly seem to jump out at me.

as i was taking a walk on our country road, i was thinking how things might look through the eyes of a city dweller. if someone had never been to the east side of washington...what would they see? what would stick out to them? here are some thoughts....

1. in one pasture you may see sheep, goats, llamas, one cow, and one horse. my question...how did that farmer know it was ok to put all of those animals together.

2. in the country everybody drives a big pickup truck and they wave at you, even if they don't know you. but, it's not a normal wave, it's the two finger picked up off the steering wheel kind of wave. sometimes you get four fingers, but very rarely, and even then it dose not leave contact with the steering wheel. i call it the farmer wave. i've seen it all my life. i've been on the receiving end of it hundreds of times and i've watched as my father greeted passersby in this same way.

3. dodging manure on the road...enough said. although i find myself wondering if a city dweller would even know that it was manure and therefore needed to be avoided.

4. duck and cover. in the city if you hear something that sounds like a gunshot or a car back firing, it most likely is one of those things. in the country this sound is actually the loud noise used to scare birds out of the cherry trees. but, even if you know what it is it can scare you to death.

5. having to stop in the middle of the road and wait for a tractor, swather, four wheeler, etc. to cross the road. the only thing you wait for in the city are the traffic lights.

in an mmmbop it's gone...

2008-05-30T16:00:00.000-07:00

"songs are life in 80 words or less." -Neil Diamond

i heard this quote from Neil Diamond on Jimmy Kimmel Live the other night and it stuck in my mind. suddenly, it made so much sense to me...this connection i have with music. this is the reason that it speaks to me the way it does, because essentially it's someone's life, someone's experience spoken with much more passion and eloquence than i could muster. you're probably thinking, "well duh, beckie, where did you think the inspiration for music came from?" and we can debate my naivety later. but, i think for me, it was one of those "aha" moments where something i already knew came alive. it gave me a feeling of solidarity, knowing that there is someone who has gone through or struggled with the things that i have gone through.

a couple days later, with the Neil quote still etched in my brain, i was listening to "mmmbop" by Hanson. i know that some might question where i'm going with this. question whether or not Hanson, mere teenagers when the song originally aired, could sing a song that could be described as either passionate or eloquent. afterall, the song sounds like a bunch of mumbling nonsense but, if you read the lyrics, it's actually a song about relationships. it's about knowing which relationships are real and important and realizing that they can be gone in the blink of an eye, or an "mmmbop."

it's these kinds of songs, the ones masked by their "get easily stuck in your head" tunes that catch my attention. i love that moment when you're singing along to some catchy song and it just clicks, and you say, "that's what they're talking about? oh, i like that."

so, i'll leave you with the lyrics to the song. (obviously due to length, this is not the complete song)

"mmmbop" by Hanson

you have so many relationships in this life
only one or two will last
you go through all the pain and strife
then you turn your back and they're gone so fast
and they're gone so fast
so hold on to the ones who really care
in the end they'll be the only ones there
and when you get old and start losing your hair
tell me who will still care
can you tell me who will still care?

plant a seed, plant a flower, plant a rose
you can plant any one of those
keep planting to find out which one grows
it's a secret no one knows
it's a secret no one knows

can you tell me who will still care?
you think you can but you don't know
which flower will grow

mmmbop, ba duba dop
ba du bop, ba duba dop
ba du bop, ba duba dop
ba du, yeah

oh yeah
in an mmmbop they're gone
in an mmmbop they're not there

happy days are here again...

2008-05-12T14:57:00.001-07:00

this past weekend i went home to be with my mom for mother's day! luckily zillah's community days also happened to fall on this weekend, so i got to join in the festivities. it's always a little bit surreal to once again be a part of small town life, where everybody knows everybody and you run into people you went to high school with. here are some pics from the events...

every year the lions club cooks breakfast for the city. this is the line we stood in...we got there at 9:15 and they had been serving since early that morning. i have no idea how many people they served, but i guarantee it was a lot.

pancakes, eggs, and ham, delicious!

it's tradition for the parade to begin with police cars from zillah and the neighboring cities. i really like the new cars, well done zillah!

zillah's royalty! the theme for this float was never figured out, but assumed to be some kind of fairy tale story. i can't help but wonder if the girls got to pick out their bright pink dresses.

this might have been the cutest part of the whole parade.

when the shriners came through this guy stopped to pose for us!

pink cadillac, plush velvet seats, riding in the back, cruisin' down the streets!

what's a parade without horse drawn carriages. sidenote...beef stake's are on sale at the Zillah Food Center this week just in case anyone is interested.

baba ganouj...

2008-04-25T15:53:00.000-07:00

i have a friend who i like to call my culture guru. i'm sure that there is not one ethnic restaurant in the portland metro area that she has not tried. well, maybe one. but, thai, morrocan, ethiopian, middle eastern, she knows them all. i like spending time with her because she gently nudges me to be more adventurous, while allowing me to stay in the safety of my comfort zone. meaning that she doesn't push me to try the craziest most outlandish thing on the menu. if i want to play it safe and have the kabobs, i can have the kabobs. she also takes the time to explain the menu to me, which makes my decision easier.

because of our friendship, i have gone to some very cool restaurants, places i would not normally have tried in some neighborhoods that i normally wouldn't go to. last week she took me to a very popular part of portland where we visited an eclectic bookstore, perused an italian meat market, and ate crepes at a french bistro (served by a waitress with more tattoos than i could count and the largest gages in her ears i have ever seen). this week we ate hummus, baba ganouj, and falafel at "Ya Hala" a lebanese restaurant. this cultural education has reminded me just how culturally diverse the northwest is. you can walk down the street and feel like you are in a completely different country. it has also reminded me that it's important to have people in your life that stretch you and encourage you to grow. i think it's so easy to get caught up in your own little world and lose sight of what is going on around you. you don't always have to cross an ocean to impact other cultures or for them to impact you, sometimes you just have to cross the street.

what's a motto with you?

2008-03-28T11:26:00.000-07:00

for those of you who are not aware, portland has a motto..."keeping portland weird." now, i'm not sure if this is the official motto, or if it's something that somebody made up. but, you can buy t-shirts and bumper stickers, so that seems pretty official to me. i think it's fitting, because portland is kind of a weird city. however, among the weird you'll find quite a bit of the cool as well. and this is what i love about this city, it's extremely eclectic. i think this point is proven when you go out to dinner downtown and somebody can make the following statement..."i've always wanted to go to the building with the giant octopus on it!"

this building houses a great restaurant called "greek cusina." there was nothing odd about the restaurant itself, just the giant octopus outside and maybe the octopus lights inside. which makes me question...is there something about Greece that relates to the octopus that i don't know about? anyway...this was Ang's choice for her birthday dinner....Happy Birthday, Ang! (much better choice than sushi last year...i'm just sayin') i'm kind of surprised how much i like greek food, in fact i'm salivating right now thinking about the pita's.

after dinner we went to a coffee shop called Rimskey's.

it's in this really cool old house and it might just be the definition of eclectic, complete with its mismatched dishes, rotating table, and random decorations hanging from the ceiling. although, we soon found that the strangest thing about this cafe, was the bathroom...i'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

gives whole new meaning to the phrase performance anxiety. yes, those feet are hanging from the ceiling and Jess wins the price for bravery. overall, it was a fun night and a great new experience with portland culture.

uselessness, just taking up room...

2008-02-28T09:56:00.000-08:00

alright, i'm going to let you in on a little secret. i wake up with random songs stuck in my head (this morning it was taylor swift's "teardrops on my guitar"). i also quote movies, trying to pass off clever lines as my own genius. i drive my roommate's crazy with random tidbits of trivia while watching movies and tv shows, such as which actor was originally up for the role, or who shares their birthday with who. the "fun fact" i'm quoting is usually something i've read somewhere, or heard on the radio or tv. it most likely stems from my slight obsession with the internet movie database (imdb.com) where you can find anything you've ever wanted to know about actors, tv shows, or movies. i'm just not sure why my mind absorbs this information and locks on to it. i'm pretty sure it's an illness. i call it my tumor (not unlike john travolta in phenomenon).

so, since this useless knowledge is taking up room, i though i would share it with all of you. here goes...

1. the wonder years...i loved that show, but i think i loved the theme song more..."with a little help from my friends" by the Beatles. great lyrics! i would hope that a good friend would still be there if you sang out of tune (although i've learned that my cat hates it. he will lie on the ground rolling around making funny noises, weird). and aside from the line about getting high, i think i really do get by with a little help from my friends.

useless trivia: the girl who played becky slater (kevin's first girlfriend) originally tried out for the role of winnie cooper, but lost out to her sister danica mckellar. takes sibling rivalry to a new level.

2. the emperor's new groove... (one of my all time favorite movies)
pacha: uh-oh
kuzco: don't tell me. we're about to go over a huge waterfall
pacha: yep
kuzco: sharp rocks at the bottom?
pacha: most likely
kuzco: bring it on

i feel like this conversation between pacha and kuzco could apply to so many areas of life. i think far too often i live life in such a comfortable place that my true response is "sharp rocks at the bottom?" well, then i'll do my best to paddle in the opposite direction because that doesn't sound like something i want to be a part of.

useless trivia: patrick warburton (aka: putty from seinfeld) improvised when "kronk" hummed his own theme song....the disney legal department had patrick sign all rights to the humming compostition over to them.

3. this really is of no use or importance, but much like left ear in the italian job, i want a "house in spain with a room for my shoes".

useless trivia: edward norton only agreed to be a part of "the italian job" because he was contractually obligated to. he had a three movie contract with paramount and apparently this movie was the lesser of the evils.

just in case you were wondering, the freakish memory also applies to somewhat normal day to day things, such as birthdays, or my cousins address from about 15 years ago (even though she's moved about 20 times since then), and my 5th grade "boyfriend's" phone number. i tell you, it's a sickness.

useless trivia: john rich, of big & rich, turned 34 in january, which only makes him 3 years older than me. scary! it tend to think people who have accomplished as much as he has must be older and much wiser than me.

nothin' but the tail lights

2007-12-19T15:21:00.000-08:00

i love to travel, i do. and, when it's traveling for work and not necessarily for pleasure, i'm ok with that. however, sometimes, i believe you can have too much of a good thing. and, that's exactly what the past two months have been for me...too much of that good thing.

back in october i took a trip to Riverside California for Kaleo conference. i traveled with a co-worker and 4 high school students to the campus of Cal Baptist. this campus was so beautiful that for a brief second i considered going back to school. luckily, sanity reclaimed me before i made any drastic decisions.
the conference, which was two days long, was intended for students (high school, college, and seminary) who felt called to something more. it really made me miss that college environment and all that comes with it.

what i learned from this trip is that i love california. i just sat in the sun and soaked it up. the weather was wonderful, that is until the santa ana's came in. i have never experienced such intense wind.

next stop on the whirlwind tour was Cannon Beach Oregon. i was sent there on a work trip to teach an internet class to senior adults. you gotta love my job, right? my topic was "buying and selling on ebay" and unfortunately these tech savvy seniors knew more than i did. but, the trip was completely worth it, because i got to eat my breakfast on the beach on a beautiful northwest day. how often do we get to do that?

the first weekend in november, not but two days after that last trip, found me driving into the middle of nowhere. well, technically it was oregon, but if felt like the middle of nowhere population 32. the annual Northwest Collegiate Ministries fall conference was held at a YoungLife camp just outside of Antelope Oregon. it was a great weekend of hanging out with good friends, making new ones, great worship and an excellent speaker. and yes, this too was considered work. i have a great job!

my travels were completed with two, count them two, trips to Yakima. the first was for the Northwest Baptist Convention's annual meeting. so, this was three long straight days of work. it is a good time for networking as well, after all i am a firm believer that much of life is about who you know. the second and final trip was simply for pleaseure as i spent thanksgiving enjoying time with my family.

here are some sights along the way...

while each and every event was fun and a great experience, i am happy that my life is a little bit more stationary these days. although, i'm sure that the next time duty calls me to some exciting new locale (one can only hope it is hawaii), i won't hesitate to go.

happy trees!

2007-10-16T15:34:00.000-07:00

this may sound a little odd, but Bob Ross has been coming up a lot lately. Bob Ross, you know the guy on PBS with the big fro who paints the happy trees. he's come up in conversation on several occasions and most recently in an art class i took. while the latter makes almost perfect sense, i'm sure you're wondering why Bob Ross would be the topic of anyone's conversation. i'm not sure i can answer that and it actually doesn't matter, because this entry is less about Bob Ross and more about me and the art class.

to expain the art class i need to go back a little bit further, back to july to be exact, because that's when i celebrated my birthday and i guess you could say it was one of the monumental ones. this year i struggled with it, didn't really want to celebrate it, maybe even a little bit sad about it. but really it made me begin to question what i was doing with my life and how i got to this point. and while this may sound like a mid-life crisis, maybe that's what it is, a mini mid-life crisis. anyway, my birthday, coupled with Amy Cohen's book "the late bloomers revolution," made me begin to look at all of those things that i've always wanted to do and thought that maybe i would do someday, like...learn to play a musical instrument well, speak a foreign language fluently, travel, learn to paint, and the list could go on and on.

i was inspired by Amy who at the age of 35 learned to ride a bike for the first time, so i decided to start checking some things off my list...fast forward four months and enter Bob Ross and the art class. i signed up for an oil painting class that touted "even an inexperienced artist can produce breathtaking results." and as i sat at the table saturday morning staring at the sample painting portraying what i was about to attempt, i seriously doubted that a beginner could do it, at least not this beginner. i looked for affirmation from those around me, asking if they had done this before, how many times, and if they were convinced that they could produce the desired outcome. i looked for any clue that i could actually pull this off. i found little solace in my Bob Rossian teacher's apparent confidence in my abilities. i had this fear that what came out of me would look less like a thirty year olds work and more like a 3 year olds. my insecurities were wrapped up in my pride because i secretly wanted to be good at this.

what i learned is that not only can i do it, but i did do it. and while i'm not ready to open my own art exhibit, i would say that i am good at it. of course a professional would look at my painting and point out its many flaws, there are some that even i could show you, but for my first time it's pretty good. and, i'm proud of myself and what i've accomplished, but not proud in the way that hinders me or stunts my growth as a person, but proud that i faced a challenge and i came away from it a more well rounded individual.

now on to the next adventure...

coffee cup wisdom...

2007-09-19T09:07:00.000-07:00

Starbucks "the way i see it" was brought to my attention at a work event and i must admit that i'm hooked. Starbucks explains their purpose behind this collection of thoughts, opinions and expressions as..."sparking conversation." So, here are some of my favorites...

The Way I See It #233
"i used to think that going to the jungle made my life an adventure. however, after years of unusual work in exotic places, i realize that it is not how far off i go, or how deep into the forest i walk that gives my life meaning. i see that living life fully is what makes life - anyone's life, no matter where they do or do not go - an adventure."
--Maria Fadiman
geographer, ethnobotanist and national geographic emerging explorer

The Way I See It #236
"scientists tell us we only use 5% of our brains, but if they only used 5% of their brains to reach that conclusion, then why should we believe them?"
--Joseph Palm
Starbucks customer from Oshkosh, Wisconsin

The Way I See It #267
"music can lift us out of depression or move us to tears - it is a remedy, a tonic, orange juice for the ear...music is not a luxury, but a necessity."
--Oliver Sacks
Neurologist and author

The Way I See It #268
"music is what i always turn to when i'm feeling a certain way. it's my reason for everything."
--Josh Groban

The Way I See It #272
"be the example; spread hope."
--Cat Cora
Iron Chef

The Way I See It #280
"you can learn a lot more from listening than you can from talking. find someone with whom you don't agree in the slightest and ask them to explain themselves at length. then take a seat, shut your mouth, and don't argue back. it's physically impossible to listen with your mouth open."
--John Moe
Radio host and author

The Way I See It #284
"you can't lead the people, if you don't love the people. you can't save the people, if you don't serve the people."
--Cornel West
Professor at Princeton University

wishin' and hopin'

2007-08-15T09:34:00.000-07:00

i have this dream of being a writer. i know that on some level i am a writer, at least my family thinks i am. but, i have this desire to be able to sit down and have the thoughts just pour out of me (which is probably the root behind this blog). the dream of writing something clever and witty, even deep, something that people will want to read. this desire is so strong in me that when i read something that catches my attention, or makes me laugh, i find myself thinking, "man, i wish i could write like that." this is the most recent of these moments. it is an excerpt written by kelly minter in the book "no other gods," where she describes standing in line at a quick copy store on a particularly frantic day.

"i parked and ran into the store only to find a line of about ten people with very interesting and complex printing needs. this triggered one of those irrational moments where you start having personal grievances against people who want things like pictures blown up to banner sizes. seriously, what do they need that for? i secretly mused. i found myself trying to supernaturally control the speed of the cashier, like if i thought hard enough and envisioned her moving just a little more efficiently, perhaps it would come true. i know this doesn't work, but i find it therapeutic anyway."

it's writing like this that makes me stop and say emphatically, "yes, i totally feel that. i've been there. this person is writing about my life." just yesterday i was standing in line at a grocery store wondering how it is that no matter what store, what time of day, or tilt of the earth's axis, i find myself in the longest line possible. there can be one person in front of me, but i guarantee that that one person has five items without price tags, or can't find their debit card, or wants to use cash for part of it, write a check for 1/3 of the remainder and give their first born child for the rest. and i, like kelly, find myself trying to will the cashier to move just a tiny bit faster, or for the shopper to miraculously become organized and move a little bit more efficiently. however, unlike kelly, i don't find this therapeutic at all. i think that this wishing and hoping only causes me to become a little bit more bitter with each second that i wait. and then i question why i'm even getting frustrated, because i'm in no real hurry. i don't have anywhere to be just then. and when i'm done pondering our society's need to have everything faster and quicker and how i SHOULD be different from this world's "gotta have it now" mentality, it's finally my turn to check out.

what i've done....

2007-07-27T11:11:00.000-07:00

i don't profess to know the spirtitual status of people in the media. there are the lindsey lohan's and britney spears' of the world that make you believe that they are desperately searching for something to fill a void. but, sometimes i come across someone that really makes me wonder. in the case of the band linkin park, it is more their words than their actions that make me curious. i admit that i don't know much about them, but i am a fan. it may be a bit far fetched to think that they could be christians, seeking maybe...but, i love their new song (featured in the movie transformers, which i also happen to love). i really feel like this could be a spiritual song. whether or not it was intended that way, i don't know, but it has spoken to me so i thought i would share it with you.

"what i've done" by linkin park

in this farewell, there's no blood, there's no alibi

'cause i've drawn regret

from the truth of a thousand lies

so let mercy come

and wash away

what i've done

i'll face myself

to cross out what i've become

erase myself

and let go of what i've done

put to rest what you thought of me

while i clean this slate

with the hands of uncertainty

for what i've done

i start again

and whatever pain may come

today this ends

i'm forgiving what i've done

go out and change your world

2007-07-17T15:54:00.000-07:00

the saying...."God won't give you more than you can handle"....well, i put that to the test this last month. at what i can only describe as the urging of God, i committed to spend 12 days on a road trip with 33 perfect strangers, comprised of youth and adult leaders. they were headed to Clovis, California for World Changers and needed a last minute chaperone. i say that this had to be God, because it's against my introverted nature to sign on for something so far out of my comfort zone. this was a HUGE step for me! even more proof this was a God-inspired decision...i was less worried about not knowing anybody and more concerned with what kind of work i would be asked to do.

as it turned out...i had a great time, made some really good friends, and in just five days, with the help of one very competent crew chief, 9 youth, myself, and one other adult, put a new roof on a house. it was HARD work and i still question whether or not it actually looks good...but in the end it was extremely rewarding. you learn a lot about people when you spend 8 hours a day with them in 100 degree heat on top of a roof.

here are some pictures from the trip...

group picture...can you find me? i don't think i can even find myself and i know exactly

where i was standing.

BEFORE

Plywood, plywood, and more plywood.

Lukas, nailing in the final shingle!!!

here's the group with our homeowner, Kandy. she was so happy to have a new roof, which made all the smashed fingers, bloody noses, and heat sickness totally worth it!

bomb's bursting in air...

2007-07-11T14:33:00.001-07:00

i spent the 4th of July with thousands of other vancouvians at Fort Vancouver. this was the third year in a row, it's now a tradition! supposedly, it's one of the biggest fireworks displays west of the mississippi. whether that's true or not, i don't know. but, it's probably the best feeling in the world to be sitting in the grass watching a spectacular show with all these strangers surrounding you, everyone singing along with Lee Greenwood's "God bless the USA," united for those thirty minutes.

the best part had to be the woman sitting behind us. every time you would see the little spark shoot into the sky, she would yell enthusiastically...."oh yeah, baby!" and every once in a while she would throw in...."bring it on!"

feel the moroccan beat....

2007-06-14T10:48:00.000-07:00

last friday we surprised Jessica for her birthday. we took her to a cool little moroccan restaurant downtown. this place was great. it had great atmosphere, we all sat around a table on little cushions and ate with our hands. the food was fabulous!

there was entertainment....a bellydancer.

we finished the night with a non-traditional birthday cake in the form of Hostess Ho-Ho kabobs and Twinkie cake.

stop and smell the roses....

2007-06-14T09:59:00.000-07:00

portland's annual rose festival took place over the past couple of weeks and we decided that we needed to partake in the festivities. here are some pictures of our experiences....

we spent some time down at the water front. apparently, this being a centennial year for the festival, it had some kind of a pirate theme. kind of makes sense with the popularity of Jack Sparrow and all, but it seemed a little bit odd.

the starlight parade is a really big deal. although we weren't aware of this until we made our way downtown and saw the parade route lined with people waiting, with the parade being at least 5 hours away. there is something people do here that blows my mind. they will mark there spot for the parade using duct tape or sidewalk chalk. they write their names in the space, sometimes leaving their lawn chairs. what amazes me about this is that everyone else, for the most part, honors it. i think this would be a great study on social behavior.

we watched the parade from Rea's downtown apartment window. she had the best seats in the house.
i love the entry way into Rea's apartment building. it reminds me of being in a foreign country. although, i've found that being in downtown portland is a foreing country in itself.

there is a race before the parade and people dress up in togas, superhero costumes, a man with a walker and a nurse running behind him, all kinds of crazy things. it was very entertaining. the parade itself started at 9 pm and was a great show. overall, this was another great portland experience.

i want my MTV!

2007-06-11T14:11:00.000-07:00

Rob & Big...this is my new favorite show. it's on MTV, and it's really really funny! they are following the life of pro-skateboarder Rob Dyrdek (llittle white boy) and his bodyguard (guarding him from what, i'm still not sure) Big Black (big black guy, thus the name). they are the oddest pairing, which makes it even more comical. the whole show is based around Rob coming up with the most random thing to spend his money on (ex: a little baby mini horse and pasture in his hollywood home's back yard). the "project" usually includes Rob talking Big Black into doing something really stupid...and hilarity ensues. i think what makes this show so funny is that Rob is this extremely articulate white boy from middle america trying to be a little bit gangsta' in LA. i tell ya, it's pure genius! reality tv at it's finest!

when it's time to change you've got to rearrange...

2007-06-04T15:40:00.000-07:00

a couple of days ago while i was watching country music videos before work (don't judge), i caught the title of big & rich's new album, titled "between raising hell & amazing grace." is that not the most perfect title for an album? i feel like it could be the title of my life. this is where i find myself, somewhere in between....not quite "raising hell," because when it comes down to it i'm a good girl, mostly due to an innate fear of getting caught. but...i'm not quite fully grasping the "amazing grace" that God so freely gives. i guess you could say i'm riding the fence or walking the line, which is a really scary place to be. i heard it best explained by this question..."at what point did i decide to live in this mediocrity?" ouch! when did i decide that it was easier to live a complacent life, then living life to the fullest enjoying all that God desires to bless me with? if only i would make the effort, make the change. if only...

i'm so amazed that sometimes God uses the trivial to catch my attention.

what's a happenin' hotstuff?

2007-05-30T15:47:00.001-07:00

here are some pictures documenting things i've done and seen in the past month or so. enjoy...

i happened to catch the columbia river on a gorgeous day! when the northwest weather cooperates, you can't beat it!

i went home to see my mom for mother's day! it was a fun weekend of good family time. it also happened to be zillah's community days, which included a parade, good food, all the fixings. i even got to see some friends from high school, which was a really good thing. this is a picture of cassadie and jarod right after fishing tadpoles out of the pond. jarod turned 8 a couple of days after this. i can't believe he's 8!

the sunday of memorial day weekend, the girls and i found some hiking trails north of vancouver. they supposedly led to waterfalls, but all we found were picnic tables. there were some things that appeared to be small waterfalls. i worry about the people who see those things and think that's all there is. maybe they've never been to multnomah falls, silver falls, or anywhere else with amazingly spectacular waterfalls, and so they take the "parks and rec" peoples word for it that this is in fact a waterfall. but, i guess ignorance is bliss, right? not to discount the beauty of the place, because it was really beautiful. take, for instance, this bridge...

about a second after i took this picture, the wind picked up and erased the reflection. what's that about being in the right place at the right time?

thissss iiiissss ammmmmmerican idol!

2007-05-22T15:42:00.000-07:00

i would like to remind everyone of american idol judge simon cowell's response to the seattle auditions..."they had the worst bunch of miserable singers that i've ever met in my life. it was two days of total misery." (you can read my particular view of the seattle audition by re-reading the january post, "blame it on the rain.") you might be asking why i'm bringing this up now. i feel the need to point out, with help from today's Oregonian..."imagine our delight in pointing out that this year's final two BOTH auditioned and made the cut in Seattle....a supposed bottomless pit of musical doom."

congrats Jordin & Blake!!!

we won't talk about where they found this guy....

life according to me....

2007-05-22T15:39:00.000-07:00

in my opinion, i'm a fairly laid back person, easy going, even-keeled. for example, my roommates can tell you that my "road rage" consists of calling peole "punk suckers" when they cut me off. i don't think i have ever sent something back at a restaurant, even when it's wrong, because i avoid confrontation. in fact, you won't find me in a heated debate over theology, the next presidential election, or any subject for that matter, because i run from debates. hate em'. with that said, i get fired up and passionate about the most random things, things that in the grand scheme of things, don't amount to a hill of beans.

for example, i believe strongly that every starbucks experience should come with a money back guarantee. the guarantee should be that if you don't have a positive experience, then you get your drink for free. i understand that this would be a difficult thing to gage, because everyone's idea of a "positive" experience would be different. but, the way i see it, people are going to starbucks for a reason. most likely it's for a caffeine fix, because they're tired, or having a bad day, etc. i fully acknowledge that it's most likely completely psychological, this dependence on coffee. however, i feel like having a bad experience while getting your caffeine boost kind of defeats the purpose.

so, i have compiled a list of things i feel should/shouldn't occur to secure leaving starbucks with a smile, not a frown.
1. the barista should be polite without being over the top cheery. (it's a fine line)
2. they should get your order correct, the first time. (a given you would think)
3. you should receive your drink in a timely manner. (a starbucks run making you late for work does not help matters)
4. you should receive plenty of napkins to accompany your drink. (obviously limited to drive thru experiences, otherwise napkins are completely up to you)
5. the sides of the cup should be clean, not leaving your hand sticky. (in direct correlation to #4)
6. the lid should be on completely and therefore NOT dripping brown liquid all over your khaki pants.
7. finally, when/if one or more of these things does/does not occur, the barista should under no circumstances laugh and say "oh, sorry, i guess it's a bad day for you, huh?" (i believe this girl's employment status should be reconsidered, ok maybe that's a bit strong, but....)

like i said, i'm fully aware that this is minor when compared to say the war in Iraq, the aids epidemic in Africa, or even gas prices. but, for whatever reason, this is what gets me fired up. don't worry, i'm seeking help.

go boy, go girl....

2007-05-07T10:54:00.000-07:00

every once in a while my "non-job" (as my roommates refer to it) requires me to work at events over the weekend. while the hours at these events are long, it's usually filled with meeting people and building relationships, networking if you will. i think this is why my roommates say that i have a non-job, because the benefits and perks far outweigh the negatives. ex: i may have to sit in a chair for hours until my back is no longer in its original shape, which is bad, but i get to meet fun people and then take days off later at my own discretion to compensate, which is good! plus, i can go to the chiropractor to fix my crooked back since i have good insurance (a fact that jessica reminded me of...she's not bitter she's just sayin') anyway, this past weekend was one of these working weekends. it was a preschool/children's leadership conference. really it was unlike any event i have worked at in the past. it was upbeat and fun, in fact the worship leader was Jeff Slaughter, the music composer for lifeway. if your church has done lifeway VBS material, then you have most likely seen this guy on the videos teaching you songs with actions. i have to say, though, that no one in their right mind should be ready to jump around flailing their arms at 8:00 in the morning. but, it was entertaining, from my perspective, to watch a room full of adults playing the piano on each others backs (see picture for a visual).

funny jeff slaughter story....i had noticed as he talked with people he would hug them and kiss their cheek. i thought....that's odd, since he made a point of telling us this was his first time to the northwest. how does he know all these people? a co-worker answered that question for me after she was introduced to him and received her hug. this was her answer...."this is his first time to the northwest, no one's told him we don't do that here, hug strangers. it's a southern thing."

sidenote: why is it that gresham oregon is the land that starbucks forgot? in washington there's one on every corner. but, on the day that i have to leave my house at 6:45 am to get to gresham by 7:30 am there's no starbucks to be seen. i don't get it.

cinco de rea-o

2007-05-07T10:38:00.000-07:00

may 5th is my good friend Rae Trim's birthday! beacause of scheduling conflicts, we had to throw her surprise party last weekend. the party was in fact a surprise, amazingly enough we pulled it off, and it was a fun time of roasting and toasting our good friend as we celebrated her 40th birthday. here are some pictures of Rea!
this last picture is posted in honor of Rea. we stumbled upon this sign on the way to our single awareness day dinner and Rea later wrote a song about it. trust me when i say that the roadway is in fact not improved.

kickin' it old school

2007-05-01T09:17:00.000-07:00

this was the last song i heard on the radio on my way to work this morning. if only i could remember other things in my life as well as i remembered the words to this song from 1988. if you want, you can check out the video at www.youtube.com/watch?v=-O4sSZc2WCU. there's joy in the little things....

Will Smith
parents just don't understand

you know parents are the same no matter time nor place
they don't understand that us kids are gonna make some mistakes
so to you, all the kids all across the land
there's no need to argue, parents just don't understand

i remember one year my mom took me school shopping
it was me, my brother, my mom, oh, my pop, and my little sister
all hopped in the car we headed downtown to the gallery mall
my mom started bugging with the clothes she chose
i didn't say nothing at first i just turned up my nose
she said, "what's wrong? this shirt cost $20"
i said, "mom, this shirt is plaid with a butterfly collar!"
the next half hour was the same old thing
my mother buying me clothes from 1963
and then she lost her mind and did the ultimate
i asked her for adidas and she bought my zips!
i said, "mom, what are you doing, you'll ruin my rep"
she said, "you're only sixteen you don't have a rep yet"
i said, "mom, let's put these clothes back, please"
she said, "no, you go to school to learn not for a fashion show"
i said, "this isn't sha na na, come on mom, i'm not bowser
mom, please put back the bell-bottom brady bunch trousers
but if you don't want to i can live with that but
you gotta put back the double-knit reversible slacks"
she wasn't moved - everything stayed the same
inevitably the first day of school came
i thought i could get over, i tried to play sick
but mom said "no, no way, uh-uh, forget it"
there was nothing i could do, i tried to relax
i got dressed up in those ancient artifacts
and when i walked into school, it was just as i thought
the kids were cracking up laughing at the clothes mom bought
and those who weren't laughing still had a ball
because they were pointing and whispering as i walked down the hall
i got home and told my mom how my day went
she said, "if they were laughing you don't need them, cause they're not good friends"
for the next six hours i tried to explain to my mom
that i was gonna have to go through this about 200 more times
so to you all the kids
there' s no need to argue, parents just don't understand

oh-kay, here's the situation, my parents went away for a weeks vacation and
they left the keys to the brand new porsche
would they mind? umm, well, of course not
i'll just take it for a little spin, and maybe show it off to a couple of friends
i'll just cruise it around the neighborhood
well, maybe i shouldn't, yeah, of course i should
pay attention, here's the thick of the plot
i pulled up to the corner at the end of the block
that's when i saw this beautiful girlie girl walking
i picked up my car phone to perpetrate like i was talking
you should've seen this girl's bodily dimensions
i honked my horn just to get her attention
she said, "was that for me?"
i said, "yeah"
she said, "why?'
i said, "come on and take a ride with a helluva guy"
she said, "how do I know you're not sick? you could be some deranged lunatic"
i said, "c'mon toots - my name is the Prince.
besides would a lunatic have a porsche like this?"
she agreed and we were on our way
she was looking very good and so was i, i must say - word
we hit mcdonald's, pulled into the drive
we ordered two big macs and two large fries with cokes
she kicked her shoes off onto the floor
she said, "drive fast, speed turns me on"
she put her hand on my knee, i put my foot on the gas
we almost got whiplash, i took off so fast
the sun roof was open, the music was high
and this girl's hand was steadily moving up my thigh
she had opened up three buttons on her shirt so far
i guess that's why i didn't notice that police car
we're doing ninety in my mom's new porsche
and to make this long story short - short
when the cop pulled me over i was scared as hell
i said, "i don't have a license but i drive very well, officer"
i almost had a heart attack that day
come to find out the girl was a twelve-year-old runaway
i was arrested, the car was impounded
there was no way for me to avoid being grounded
my parents had to come off from vacation to get me
i'd rather be in jail than to have my father hit me
my parents walked in, i got my grip
i said, "ah, mom, dad, how was your trip?"
they didn't speak - i said, "I want to plead my case"
but my father just shoved me in the car by my face
that was a hard ride home, i don't know how i survived
they took turns - one would be beat me while the other was driving
i can't believe it, i just made a mistake
well parents are the same no matter time nor place
so, to you all the kids all across the land
take it from me, parents just don't understand

humor...not just a defense mechanism

2007-04-13T10:25:00.000-07:00

last night we went to tacoma to enjoy ang's birthday present....
comedien brian regan...he is a funny funny man, and clean too! i won't attempt to repeat any of his jokes, because so much of what makes you laugh is the way he says things. all i can say is...check him out at www.brianregan.com. he can make a three day car trip fly by, trust me.

hear the bells ringing...

2007-04-12T09:07:00.000-07:00

have you ever wondered what it would be like to spend easter sunday in a church service with over 10,000 other people? probably not. i admit that i had never wondered what it would be like, and now i’ll never have to, because i’ve experienced it. the girls and i chose to attend living hope community church on easter sunday. we thought it would be an experience…and we weren’t disappointed. living hope is what i call a “mega” church here in the couv. they run about 3,000 or more each week and have something like seven services. so, you can imagine what easter and christmas would be like for them. this year they decided to do something big, something different, and rent out the rose garden arena. while the actual number of attendees is still up for discussion, there’s some disagreement over how many the arena holds, etc, let me just say that from the 300 level of that place, there were a LOT of people there. can we say “sensory overload.” it was a quality service, done well, and over 700 people were baptized in four large pools, Praise God! but, there was so much going on, it was hard to focus, hard to remember why we were all there. so, i would have to say that for me, the highlight of the day was getting ready at home with my roommates, eating breakfast, spending an hour in a traffic jam trying to get to the rose garden (some might dispute that last one). this was the time where i was truly enjoying myself, worshipping God, discussing what the day meant, and listening to every version under the sun of the following song, sometimes twice, on the same radio station. it’s an oldie, but a goody. (thanks Ang for giving us the history of Keith Green, i now know that he was “touted” as being the beginning of Christian Rock. what would we do without you?)

"Easter Song" - Keith Green
hear the bells ringing

they’re singing that you can be born again

hear the bells ringing

they’re singing Christ is risen from the dead

the angel up on the tombstone

said he has risen, just as he said

quickly now, go tell his disciples

that Jesus Christ is no longer dead

joy to the word, he has risen, hallelujah

he’s risen, hallelujah

we also had a great lunch with good friends after church...ham, banana pudding, mac & cheese, mmm! good food, good friends, singing....good times!

too much of a good thing?

2007-04-05T10:38:00.000-07:00

Top Ten Signs You're Watching Too Much "American Idol"
(as seen on david lettermen)

10. at confession, you say, "forgive me, dawg, for i have sinned"
9. each week, you vote one of your kids out of the house
8. after dinner you say in a british accent, "awful. just pathetic"
7. FOX switchboard operator knows you by name
6. when "idol" comes on, so do the adult diapers
5. had your stomach stapled like randy and you weren't even overweight
4. you understand what paula abdul is blabbing about
3. no number 3 -- writer watching "american idol"
2. got adam sandler to guest host your talk show so you could stay home and vote for sanjaya
1. your TiVo recommends you get some counseling

you mean we have to wait for this?

2007-03-29T09:43:00.000-07:00

jessica and i took angela out to dinner the other night to celebrate her birthday (happy birthday ang!). Let me tell you, it was an experience. "ang, you choose...wherever you want to go...it's your birthday...your night." when i heard jessica say these words i knew...we were going to sushi. not just any sushi, "conveyor belt" sushi. i have to admit i've always been slightly curious, although i knew that i most likely wouldn't like it. unlike most northwesterners, coming from the seafood capital of the world, i have an aversion to fish or anything fish like. webster's online dictionary defines such an aversion as "a feeling of repugnance toward something with a desire to avoid or turn from it," which, i think, perfectly describes my feelings toward all things seafood. specifically, the word "avoid" would describe my feelings towards sushi up until this point.

so, as we set out on our "adventure" i began to give myself a pep talk. "it's alright beckie, you can do this. you've been to foreign countries, eaten stranger things, you can do this. it's just the fear of the unknown." this positive self talk kind of worked until we walked in the door and the unknown became the known. now, "conveyor belt" sushi (my term, Sushiland is the actual name) is definitely a unique experience. basically, you sit at a counter and watch food go by you on a conveyor belt, while you choose what you want to eat, by matching what you see on the menu in front of you. california rolls, shrimp tempura, fried bean curd are all terms that i'm now intimately familiar with. to make a long story short...too late...i survived and i can now say that i've experienced it, but it's been confirmed that i definitely don't like sushi. i mean, i can understand the worlds obsession with it...the idea of it is very cool and its extremely healthy, but...

after sushi we went to bubble tea. bubble tea, or pearl tea, is a milk tea with tapioca balls or jellies in the bottom and you drink it through a big fat straw. jessica says she likes it because "you don't often get the chance to drink and chew gum at the same time." that description doesn't make it sound very appetizing, but angela has recently become obsessed with it and since it was her birthday...we went. i thought that i really liked bubble tea. however, recently i found out that what i was drinking, and considered bubble tea, is actually a strawberry slushy with pineapple jellies in the bottom (yum!) and the actual bubble tea, well, i don't like it. so, what i've learned from angela's very asian birthday is this...what i consider to be adventurous and daring is just plain and boring to everyone else. and...i'm extremely ok with that.

party like it's 1999...er...make that 2007!

2007-03-21T14:35:00.000-07:00

"i'm fifty, and i can kick..." if you recognize that quote as being said by molly shannon in a sketch on saturday night live, than you probably are not, in fact, fifty. (if you didn't recognize it, then please just excuse my random knowledge of useless pop-culture trivia.) as my father would now say, "what does all this have to do with the price of tea in China." to which i will answer...patience, i'm getting there.

so, my office loves to party. no matter what the occasion, or lack there of, they will find a way to celebrate. i know what you're thinking..."cake, free food, how very southern baptist of you." and i won't argue. plus, it gives you a free out from work for at least 30 minutes. today, during the 50th birthday celebration of a co-worker, i had some observations that i would love to share.

epiphany #1: i am currently in a place in my life where i find myself celebrating more 50th birthdays than any other number. i only find this odd because people around me used to be turning 21, 25, even 30, not 50. i know that this is only the case because i work in a place where i'm the second youngest person and the third is older than me by at least ten years. it's not necessarily a bad thing, just an observation.

epiphany #2: while people were teasing the "birthday boy" about being over the hill, going blind, etc...i found myself thinking...50's not old, wait, when did I get to the place in life where i'm thinking that 50 isn't that old. again, it's all about perspective...in that room, 50 wasn't old, it's the median age.

epiphany #3: birthday cards making fun of age are really not that funny. for example: "remember when...cell phones were the things you used to make your one phone call from jail...surfing was done on a board in the ocean...and airbags were people who talked too much."

and on that note...if you've followed me this far, then you might now be wishing that i hadn't shared my observations. what can i say...i love to share my random thoughts.

fight, fight, fight, for washington state...

2007-03-19T13:59:00.000-07:00

washington state university's Butch T. Cougar...capital one mascot of the year!

a few of my favorite things...

2007-03-12T16:12:00.000-07:00

friends....
last week i went to kansas for the wedding of a close friend. i had forgotten how good it feels to be around people that really know me, know my stories, laugh at shared jokes. it's easy, comfortable, no first impresssions.

work...
one of the things i love most about my job is lunch time. i'm not sure what i thought a lunchroom in the "real world" would look like, but i never imagined this. lunch in my building consists of crowding as many adults as possible around a table and then telling stories and laughing for an hour. (today there were 9 of us) i thought days like this had passed me by when i graduated from college, but i'm glad to say that i was wrong. i love when you walk into the room and see the full table, there's a brief glimmer of doubt, perhaps you'll have to sit at the other table alone, and then someone sees you and says, "don't worry, there's room for one more." and everyone scoots to fit you in. i'm almost convinced that no matter how many people came in that door, they would get squeezed in too.

things that make me laugh...

trade this life for fortune and fame?

2007-02-26T10:13:00.000-08:00

so, i've come to the realization that life is all about who you know. that might seem like somewhat of a bleak outlook, especially for those of us who feel like we don't know anybody. but, i believe it to be true nonetheless. now the question is...what brought on this sudden epiphone? friday night i got to do one of the coolest things i've experienced in this city. i might say that about every new experience i encounter, but this time i really mean it. i had the opportunity to see nickelback in concert, on the floor, twenty feet from the band, for FREE! all because i knew somebody! i love concerts! i love the music, the atmosphere, the excitement. i love the feeling when the band stops and 10,000 people keep singing the words to the song. it's amazing! and, this one didn't let me down. although, i must admit that i have now heard enough of the "f-word" to last me the rest of my life. it must be a staple at "rock shows." apparently, you gotta drop the "f-bomb" to get the crowd pumped up. it worked for nickelback and three days grace, who performed before them. but, i can look past all that, because it was a great show! although, i'm still not sure how those four guys didn't get the hair on their arms singed off from the pyro, but....

idol obsessions...

2007-02-21T10:34:00.000-08:00

top ten signs you're obsessed with "american idol"
(as seen on david letterman)

10. you berate your co-workers in a british accent, but you're from cincinnati
9. named your three kids "paula," "simon" and "the other one"
8. began attending fat camp in hopes of meeting ruben
7. your name is gary and you end each phone conversation with "gary, out!"
6. you can name more contestants paula's slept with than paula can
5. your baby's first word? "dawg"
4. no number four - writer home watching "american idol"
3. your floor is littered with greasy sheets of plastic wrap (sorry, that's a sign you're obsessed with american cheese)
2. before sending letter to california you yell, "you're going to hollywood!"
1. watched the first episode instead of working on your new plan for iraq

(disclaimer: i don't necessarily agree with or promote these statements except, of course, for the funny ones.)

while i'm admitting my obsession with american idol, i might as well put in a plug for my favorite on the show so far.

blake lewis, seattle wa.

heart cakes, fried okra, & good friends....

2007-02-21T10:28:00.000-08:00

this is documentation of a valentine's day well spent! (we'll be working on our self-portrait taking ability in the future, poor beth was too short to even make it into the shot) my friend rea (bottom right, in the picture) referred to this as our second annual single awareness day dinner. i'm not quite sure if that means we're trying to make the world more aware of single people, or if we're just extremely aware of our own single status on this particular day. either way, it was a fun time! we tried something new and went to a place in portland called the "delta cafe." it serves southern comfort food (the best macaroni and cheese i've ever tasted). we'll definitely be back!

we all just wanna be big rockstars!

2007-02-05T09:44:00.000-08:00

i just returned from a weekend at home with my family. we celebrated my dad's 56th birthday! happy birthday, dad! the whole family went out to dinner on saturday night. it was a lot of fun, and great food! black angus in yakima...mmm! we had good conversation and lots of laughs. here's a conversation between my dad and my 10 year old niece that had us all laughing pretty hard. for those of you who know my dad, you know he teases...well, this is what happens...

cassadie: i gotta go to the bathroom.
papa: they don't have a bathroom for you.
cassadie: what?
papa: they have a men's and a women's, but none for children.
cassadie: i fall under the category of women. (puts hands on hips) i am a woman in training.

let me brag on my niece for a little bit here. like i said, she's ten, which means she's in the fourth grade. for fun, this little girl does algebra problems that her mom brings home from work (she teaches math at a high school and now at a college as well). we're talking, order of operations, variables, ratios, percentages, stuff i still struggle with. cassadie often talks in ratios. (ex: if you ask her if she was good, she might say "oh, about 65%) like i said before...geniuses breeding geniuses. or maybe nerds breeding nerds, it's hard to decipher. either way, it's ridiculous. my sister says she's trying to get cassadie ready to take pre-algebra early so that she won't be bored in math class. crazy! i also got to watch cassadie play basketball. it's fun to watch, but extremely stressful. all of a sudden the outcome holds so much more importance. cass played well and i got to watch her smile proudly as she made one of her foul shots. she's getting to be a pretty good player. i'm proud of her. i won't talk about how amazed i was to hear her singing along to nickelback with her dad on the way home from the restaurant. so, just to remind us all that she's still a little girl, i thought i would share a picture she gave me while i was home. here it is...

kindred spirits...

2007-01-22T14:14:00.000-08:00

do you ever find yourself thinking something clever and wishing you could put together an articulate sentence that would effectively get your point across? me...all the time. i seem to have this "disease" where i have a thought process, which seems important to share, but i have difficulty getting it out of my mouth in one piece...as i was internet surfing today, something i often do when i'm bored, i stumbled across a blog by my new favorite christian fiction author, kristin billerbeck. i would highly recommend her ashley stockingdale series, at least to all you ladies out there (guys, if you think you would enjoy reading about a single girl living life in the silicone valley, feel free to pick it up as well. that's not for me to judge). anyway, i now understand why i love her books so much, she articulately writes what i'm thinking. here are her thoughts on some subjects near and dear...

american idol...
"some of the folks auditioning seem...not quite right. sure, some of them are just kids wanting their five minutes of fame. others are kids that-well, their momma just lied to them is all. i understand they chose to be on the show, and i'm fine with that if these people are mentally competent. i'm just not sure they all are."

current events...
"is it just me, or is it NOT news that rosie o'donnell and donald trump are in a fight? first off, i wouldn't watch the view if you stapled me to the chair. i cannot stand to watch people in conflict and that show is women yelling over each other. hate that! if it's going to be conflict, give me smart conflict like the charlie rose show. or reality tv conflict, like simon & paula going at it. rosie talking about trump's comb over? trump calling rosie an animal? i need this in my life, why?"

laser tag...
"we tried laser tag once. any of you ever do that? if you haven't, don't. i'm a non-violent person by nature and it just goes against my grain to target people, you know? so, i'd hide out in forgotten corners and wait on the cease-fire alert. unfortunately, i was as inconspicuous as a bull moose in a china shop. did you know little kids can smell fear a mile away? they stalked me the entire evening. i kept saying, 'shoo, go away little people,' but they just kept laughing viciously and zapping me with their razor sharp beams. i felt as though i was caught up in a cross between star trek and zorro."

then there's always bowling...
"you know the one. where you pick up a ball that's heavier than your car, stuff your thumb and fingers into it, step up to the arrows on the floor and release said ball from your grasp, praying all the while your body doesn't go with it. After a clean release, the entire room-that was only seconds before alive with conversation, exploding pins, and movement-comes to a complete standstill as everyone watches your ball go barreling down your lane, bounce two lanes over and still manage a gutter, never once hitting a single pin. speaking of pins, yours are heckling, pointing and making bets on your next attempt."

i really feel like this girl and i could be great friends!

blame it on the rain?

2007-01-18T14:30:00.000-08:00

disclaimer: for those of you who watched american idol and their auditions in seattle...if you're choosing to judge pacific northwesterners, please don't use those people as your demographic. because, not all people in the northwest have the "crazy eyes" that were showcased last night. secondly, many of those people weren't even from seattle or the surrounding areas, they traveled great distances to show off their "talent." so, if you're going to cast judgement based on that show...i ask that you take into consideration the beautiful scenery (when it wasn't raining). there's the space needle, pike's place fish market, beautiful flowers, etc.

hello, hello again

2007-01-18T14:08:00.000-08:00

i have been asked fairly regularly why i haven't updated my blog in so long. my answer...i couldn't really think of anything interesting to say. i never wanted to be one of those people who blogged just for the sake of it. i guess i wanted it to serve a purpose, to keep friends and family in the loop of my life. and while i'm being honest, i wanted to be clever and somewhat entertaining. i'm not presuming to have met any of those goals. but, to get my roommates off my back, here's what i've been up to...

there was a question as to why i didn't have a picture of our christmas tree complete and decorated. so, here it is. while i'm not sure that this picture fully does it justice, we thought it was beautiful!

this is me, Jessica, and our friend Kym on new years eve. we went up to seattle to hang out with some friends...and some of their friends from church. it's a little weird to celebrate new years with perfect strangers. i'm not exactly sure why it's weird, but it is. i've also decided that it's kind of an over rated holiday. it's never as glamorous as they make it seem on television. i always try to think of something fun and fabulous to do, but in the end i find myself hanging out with friends, playing games, and chugging a bottle of sparkling apple cider.

don't i live a fabulous life?

now, for this next set of pictures, i would like to refer back to a previous entry where i reminded myself to vote "no" for the largest tree on the lot next year. these pictures would be exhibit A in my case against my roommates. you see...the huge tree that once fit nicely, albeit snugly, through our doorway a month earlier, seemed to have grown. i would like to stop here and thank the boy scouts who make our lives simpler by disposing of our christmas trees. their only request was simple...leave the tree by the curb and your donation on the door. at least we thought it would be simple. however, one bad case of christmas tree rigor mortis stood between us and meeting the demands of those wonderful boys. getting our tree out to the curb seemed a daunting task, cleaning up after it...even bigger.

in hindsight...maybe the trunk should have gone first.

we'll be finding pine needles for months to come...but we were successful!

america's drive-in...

2006-12-13T13:38:00.000-08:00

i would consider myself proud to be from the pacific northwest. i mean, i grew up here and i embrace the culture, for the most part. but, for a while now there's been something missing. so, i fully support whoever decided to correct, what i can only call a huge oversight by the fast food community. SONIC has finally come to town!!!

i guess i should clarify by saying that it hasn't exactly come to my town, it came to hillsboro which is actually about 45 minutes away. but, after two years of the commercials taunting me, causing me to salivate, not unlike pavlov's dog, do you think i would let a little drive stand in my way? heck no! so, a friend from work and i set off on a sonic burger adventure, with our motto being, "just because we can." the crazy thing...we apparently weren't the only ones craving cherry limeades at 7 pm on a monday night, because we found ourselves in a line of cars waiting for an open stall. someone asked me today if i would do it again, drive all that way for a hamburger? the answer...yes!!! there's just something about it. a comfort thing maybe. or, maybe it's just because i can, when a week ago i couldn't. i will definitely go back. besides, i'm dying to try the cheesecake bites!

the thing that made the whole adventure even more exciting...the christmas ships. apparently every year, the boats in the marina decorate for christmas and parade up and down the columbia river. as we were crossing the bridge, we saw the ships. for a second i actually became one of those "looky lou" drivers i hate so much. those people who slow down on the bridge to check out whatever is on the river with little disregard for the people around them. anyway, we took a chance, pulled into a park, and got a show. it was pretty cool! just another thing that makes this place i live in unique. here are some pics!

oh, christmas tree...

2006-12-08T14:31:00.000-08:00

to me, the holidays are all about traditions. the things you do every year to celebrate with your family. as i get older, i feel like the lines around those things that i loved so much grow thinner and thinner. some of them i've outgrown. (i mean who wants to sleep on the floor in front of the tree on christmas eve when you're pushing 30? am i right?) but, some have just fallen by the wayside, or have been forgotten.

so this year, my roommates and i are trying to create some new traditions. we went and bought a tree, from the same guy we bought it from last year. we joked about how some day we'll learn his name, so that next year we can say "hey joe, the christmas tree salesman guy, how's the wife and kids?" and then five years from now, we'll go to buy our tree and he'll say, "hey girls, i set one aside for you, just the kind you like." he'll refer to us as "the girls" as many of our friends are prone to do. ok, maybe none of that will ever happen, but isn't it the season of hope?

anyway...here are some fun pics of our christmas tree adventure.

jess...pretending she could actually pick that thing up by herself. i'm pretty sure we chose the biggest one on the lot, it was real heavy.

joe looked at us kind of funny when we asked him to tie it to the roof of ang's car, but he did it anyway, cause that's just the kind of guy joe the christmas tree salesman is.

note to self...when you're the tallest one in your household, always vote no for the largest tree on the lot, even though we have 9 foot ceilings and have the room for it. Or maybe that should read...BECAUSE we have 9 foot ceilings and EVEN THOUGH we have the room for it. if you could see the bottom of this picture...you would find my tiptoes balanced precariously on top of a step stool.

so, the tree is now complete and our house is decked out for the season. i guess as christmas gets closer, we'll keep our eyes open for other traditions we can start. oooh, maybe caroling?

oh, the weather outside is frightful...

2006-11-29T13:49:00.000-08:00

i learned a new word over the thanksgiving holiday...perfidy. it means the ultimate act of betrayal; treason. i didn't learn it in practice. i haven't been betrayed, as far as i know. i learned it from my seven year old nephew. scary, i know. i asked my bro-in-law if he ever wonders how his son got smarter than him. of course he said no (my brother in law is really smart). which is where my nephew gets it, his parents. my genius sister and her genius husband are breeding genius children. i'm not bitter, i'm just saying.

here is the conversation i had with my nephew after that last question to his father...
jarod: the internet, beckie.
beckie: what about the internet, jarod?
jarod: it will make you smarter.
beckie: oh really? is that where you get all of your knowledge from?
jarod: probably.

that kid cracks me up!

everything...

2006-11-21T15:22:00.000-08:00

i recently promised a friend that i would never become one of those people that pours out my heart and soul on my blog, for the whole world to see. but, every so often i hear a song that just speaks to me and i want to share that. i know God sees music in my life as a way to get through to me, i love these words...

find me here
speak to me
i want to feel you
i need to hear you
you are the light
that's leading me
to the place where i find peace, again

you are the strength, that keeps me walking
you are the hope, that keeps me trusting
you are the light, to my soul
you are my purpose...you're everything

you calm the storms, and give me rest
you hold me in your hands, you won't let me fall
you steal my heart, and you take my breath away
would you take me in? take me deeper now?

how can i stand here with you and not be moved by you?
would you tell me how could it be any better than this?

cause you're all i want, you're all i need
you're everything, everything
you're all i want, you're all i need
you're everything, everything

152 insights into my soul...

2006-11-21T14:57:00.000-08:00

recently i realized that i've fully embraced the northwest culture...by visiting starbucks on a regular basis. the funny thing is, i'm not a huge coffee drinker, but for some reason i feel the call of that grande caramel no whip mocha just the same. i always think of that scene in "you've got mail" where tom hanks says that starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. oh how i relate, because making decisions is not my strong suit. that's why i made those decisions once and then i just get the same thing every time. but, i also really love the atmosphere of coffee shops, all warm and cozy smelling like coffee. people sitting around reading, studying, playing games. great place to people watch.

i began to frequent starbucks on the way to work because i'm not a morning person and something about the thought of caffeine or the smell of coffee helps. i've been told that you can teach yourself to be a morning person, but after getting up at the same time for almost a year and it not getting any easier, i disagree. i'm the type of person that thinks a good day is getting to work without having to say a word to anyone before i get there, which is difficult to accomplish when faced with the entirely too chipper drive thru lady who wants to talk to me about my job, her job, the weather, and how sales are going that morning. i feel the desire to strangle this woman while saying, "i don't care if the peppermint mocha is the hot item today i just want my coffee so i can go," in the nicest way possible of course. i'm not normally prone to violent outbursts, but when there is an extremely chatty woman in between me and my caffeine, i get a little disgruntled. i'm beginning to realize that i might have a problem, i'll get some help for that.

search for the holy grail…

2006-11-06T10:02:00.000-08:00

have you ever been to church in a movie theater? i can now say that i have. i’ve been church hunting for a couple of months now and it’s no easy task. i kind of had it in my mind that it would be easy, almost fun, but i was mistaken. there are so many questions…what am i looking for? strong teaching, great worship, community. so, in my search, i've been visiting anything and everything. this brings me to the movie theater. the interesting thing about churches in the northwest is that you tend to find what seem to be extremes. you have your traditional, hymn singing, walk in an know exactly what to expect churches. and you have your, meet in a theater or pizza place, extremely non-traditional, everything new, church starts. my experience yesterday was with the latter.

i visited a 3 year old church start called “coram deo.” here are three new things, or “never before’s,” that i experienced….1. i've never before heard a pastor use the words, “chill, money, tight, or my bad” before in my life. granted, this pastor was at least my age, maybe younger.
2. i've never before been told we needed to hurry up and leave because the movie starts in ten minutes and there are paying customers waiting to get in. (side note…the theater we met in was showing SAW) 3. i’ve never before been to a church where everyone looks just like me…young twenty something-thirty something. since i've moved here i've often wondered where all the young christian people are, well i found them, it just took me a 45 minute drive to get to them. which brought up another question…do i want to go to a church where everyone looks just like me? i don’t think so.

so, the search continues...

oh canada!

2006-10-19T09:47:00.000-07:00

so, my job has the greatest perks in the world!! this past weekend i had the opportunity to go to vancouver canada to "work" at a collegiate conference. it was a lot of fun! i've lived in washington most of my life, just 6 hours from the canadian border, and i've never been. until now that is!

i have to say that visiting vancouver, bc and being from vancouver, wa is extremely confusing. but other than that, i loved my time there. vancouver is a great city. lots of culture and interesting people. the conference was great as well. almost 200 college students taking over a hotel in downtown! we had an amazing speaker, steve saccone, from mosaic in LA. he talked about taking advantage of every opportunity you're given. as christians a lot of time we "burn daylight" or spend a lot of time praying about something, or waiting for the right time. i really enjoyed what he had to say. and the worship team, justin cofield band from austin texas, some of the nicest people in the world and sickeningly talented.

saturday we went out to prayerwalk the city. this picture is of us getting lost and trying to find the university we were supposed to be looking for.

sometimes getting lost has its benefits. vancouver, bc has a little nickname, it's called hollywood to the north. if you look real close at the license plate on this taxi, you'll see that it's from new york. as was every other car on this street. also, the banners on the light post are also from new york. in our search for simon fraser university, we stumbled upon a street they had blocked off and were getting ready to film on. unfortunately we were too chicken to ask what it was.

the northwest sun!

2006-10-03T11:03:00.000-07:00

when you wake up to a crisp, sunny, northwest fall day, there is no better place to be. i'm not biased or anything, i'm just sayin'. this past weekend, we were blessed with wonderful weather and took full advantage of it.

my parents came into town on saturday and we always try to do something fun and touristy when they come to visit...so, we went to pittock mansion.

it's this cool old house on top of the hill in portland. it was built in 1914, i won't give out all the details, but it's really cool. the grounds have a beautiful view of the city and mt. st. helens, hood, adams, and rainier. it's amazing!

saturday i also found myself at my fourth bebo norman concert. some may say i'm obsessed, i like to think i'm just a loyal fan. for those who might question my motive...i just really like his music!!!

anyway...the concert was in this cool old theater in longview and we had great seats. what i love about christian concerts is that, yes in some aspect they are there to perform for you, but when they do there job well, there is also a heart of worship. aaron shust and brandon heath opened up for bebo. it was a great combination of giftedness. the night ended great and was a lot of fun! i found myself being really thankful that God gave me an appreciation for music. it touches me and speaks to me in a way i don't fully understand, but i'm thankful for.

win the day for crimson and grey

2006-09-21T10:59:00.000-07:00

i've come to realize that i become a total girl when i watch football. i understand the game, i know what's going on, i can follow along and cheer with the best of them. and, i actually enjoy watching it. but, i also find myself feeling really bad for the other team when they get booed. and, i comment on things like a player losing his shoe when he gets hit, not on the hit itself which was obviously so good that it knocked a guys shoe off. i find myself distracted by the fact that the kickers name is so long that it goes onto the shoulders of his uniform. i'm a total girl. hey, at least i can admit it. me and some friends went to seattle this past weekend to enjoy a cougar football saturday.
for the last couple of years washington state university has been playing an "exhibition" game the first part of the season. that's what i call it, because they pick some random southern team, that they think they can beat, and play them in seahawk stadium. this years chosen team was baylor. let me say that the baylor bears gave us a run for our money. but, in the end, after a really sloppy game, the cougs won. it was fun to be immersed in the college atmosphere again, i had missed it. there is a sense of comraderie among cougar fans that you can't explain. you get this feeling that if you needed it, any one of those people would have your back just because you have WSU in common. it's great! there was also something really fun about 14,000 cougar fans invading downtown seattle, which is essentially husky territory. yeah, there was some name calling, but that's all part of the fun!

summer breeze...makes me feel fine

2006-09-15T14:13:00.000-07:00

fall is on its way. i can feel it. i can feel the chill in the morning when i leave for work and my almost-daily coffee order has turned back from iced to hot. it's sad, but true. however, labor day weekend gave us one of the last beautifully warm days we'll probably see. so, in honor of that i joined the thousands of other northwesterners...and enjoyed the outdoors. check out the pictures of this grand adventure....

stop one:

i had never been to the rose garden when it was in bloom. i can honestly say it has to be the best smelling place on earth. not only does it have beautiful flowers, and a great view of downtown portland, but it also reminds me of why i love living in this area so much...cultural diversity. we saw and heard so many different ethnic groups....russian, east indian, asian, hispanic, etc, dressed in their national dress and speaking their national language. i love it!

stop two:

we had never been to the waterfront before, sad but true. we always said we should go, just never had, until today. although the willamette is not the most breathtaking river, the view of the city scape is.

stop three:

Superman Returns: The IMAX Experience®

note to self..."superman returns" in imax...not the best experience. there's nothing like seeing lex luthors larger than life bald head on a 72 foot dome screen to make you nauseus. i guess in Kevin Spacey's defense, it wasn't necessarily lex luthor that made me nauseus, but the special effects around him. i'll stick to educational movies at the OMSI theatre the ones with lots of wide shots of scenery and geographical locations, so "greece: secrets of the past" here i come!! aside from making me sick to my stomach, the movie also reminded me of one of my greatest pet peeves...parents who overestimate their small children's ability to sit through a two and a half hour movie. i love it when the climax of a movie is interrupted by a child in front of you standing to stretch and the one behind you asking his parent if they can leave while simultaneously kicking your chair. i'm not bitter, i'm just saying.